Page 33 of Just Forever

“Just tell me,” Lake says.

I drop my head back so it smacks against the wall with athunk.

“I can’t,” I say. “It’s too stupid, and you’re gonna think I’m an idiot.”

“Try me.”

I stare upward silently, trying to come up with the words and not really succeeding.

“I just…”

Lake moves closer until his shoulder is pressed against mine, and his head is close enough that strand of his hair brush over my cheek

“You just?” There’s a smile in his voice, and it makes me feel a bit lighter. Not really less stupid, though.

“I hated that guy,” I blurt.

Lake eyes me calmly. “Wyatt?”

“Whatever,” I mutter like a sulky kid. Lake’s lips twitch, but he bites back the smile.

“Is this you being jealous?”

“It’s me being an idiot.” I sigh and rub my palm over my face. “I’m not jealous.” I think about it for a second and then say, “Okay, Iamjealous. But not about what’s-his-face.”

“About what, then?” Lake asks softly.

I let the side of my head fall against Lake’s. It’s dark enough and the people who pass us by don’t even seem to notice us.

“Am I taking something away from you?” I ask.

Lake is silent for a beat. “Like?”

I shrug helplessly. “Handholding in the middle of the street. Kissing. Calling you my husband. Being a proper couple. Telling that fuckface at the bar to fuck off.”

“Is that what makes a proper couple?” Lake asks mildly.

“It’s a part of the experience, and you don’t get to do any of it with me right now.”

“I do all those things with you, except telling fuckfaces to fuck off. I don’t think that’s happened yet. It might, though.”

“In front of other people,” I say. “You get to do all the proper couple stuff, but only in private.”

It’s hitting me harder than usual right now, this feeling that I’m missing out, that I’m depriving myself of something perfect. I want everything that could be. I want people to know Lake is with me. That he’s mine.

I don’t want to pretend we’re just good friends and nothing else.

I want this to be our life. No hiding or secrets.

Lake pushes himself off the wall. There’s an expression of fierce determination on his face as he takes my face between his hands, and then I find my mouth at the mercy of his brutal kiss.

My thoughts scatter as Lake’s tongue pushes inside my mouth. His knee goes between my thighs as he presses closer. He rubs himself against me, and my dick takes notice.

Lake’s taste is all over my tongue while he kisses me, and I can feel his hard-on rubbing against mine.

The kiss is over as abruptly as it started. Lake pulls his mouth away, and once again, my head falls against the wall.

We’re both breathing harshly. I turn my head to look at him. “What was that for?”

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