Page 52 of Just Forever

I missed Lake. I’ve never missed anybody before, but over the course of this last year, it feels like I’ve spent more time missing him than actually being with him. First with the long-distance relationship and now with me always being on the road. It feels especially difficult after spending every moment of the summer together.

Maybe it’ll get easier someday. I don’t know, and I don’t have anybody to ask. Laurent is married and has been with his wife for over ten years, but even if he hadn’t, it’s not like I can suddenly start inquiring about relationships when, as far as everybody knows, I’m as single as they come. It’d just lead to questions and me having to lie.

My point is, I have limited time with Lake right now, and I need to get my fill of him before I’m willing to share with the rest of the world.

Too bad the rest of the world is currently sitting in the passenger seat of my car, hogging all my Lake-time.

Yeah.

On second thought, maybe I am petty and antagonistic.

Kian’s clearly enjoying himself, and it’s annoying the shit out of me right now. He’s deep in conversation with Lake, recapping the trip and the games. Those are my stories. I should get to tell them.

Fucking hell, I sound like an asshole. To myself. In my own head. That must be a whole new level of asshole I’ve just achieved.

Blessedly, right after that, we arrive at Kian’s place. He directs me to a parking spot and gets out of the car soon after.

Lake gets out, too.

“Thanks for the ride, dude,” Kian says happily. “Appreciate it.”

Lake just shrugs. “Not a problem.”

He’s going inside now. I mean, it’s getting late. He has to, right? He has to be tired, too, right? Right?

Instead, Kian leans against the side of the car, for all intents and purposes, settling in.

“You coming to our game Tuesday?”

Lake glances at me and smiles, and the annoyance I’ve been trying to deal with takes a back seat for a while at the sight of the man I love smiling at me.

My chest jolts. If I really analyze and overthink, it’s still difficult to wrap my head around how much my life has changed these past few years. I went from a straight, single college student to a bi, married NHL player. I suspect it should feel more jarring. Thing is, it doesn’t. Mainly because being withLake, sharing my life with Lake, feels so natural. Almost as if the life I previously had was the jarringly misplaced one.

How did I ever not have Lake in my life?

It seems impossible that I somehow spent two decades not realizing he’s a part of me. My other half. Or maybe I did realize. There’s always been something about Lake that draws me to him. Even when Lake himself didn’t seem to be that interested in having me around, I still stuck by him, connected by some invisible string.

A hand appears in front of my face, and Kian waves it. “You’re zoning out, dude.”

I blink and concentrate back on the present.

“Sorry. I’m fucking beat.”

“That’s a no on the bar then?” Kian asks.

My brow furrows. I clearly missed a chunk of the conversation.

“There’s a good one just around the corner.”

“Probably should turn in,” I say.

Kian shrugs and zeroes in on Lake. “You in?”

“Maybe some other time.” Lake points his thumb toward me. “I’m his ride, so…”

Kian’s shoulders slump in disappointment. “You sure? I know two of the bartenders. Smoking hot. I could introduce you.”

I know Lake loves me and is married to me and is gay on top of that, so there’s no way he’d ever be interested in Kian’s bartenders, but fuck me, the offer still annoys the ever-loving shit out of me, and a part of me is genuinely afraid Lake will decide to go. There’s not a single logical reason for me to think that, but the what if is still ticking at the back of my head.

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