Page 69 of Just Forever

Don’t run just because you’re afraid to get hurt.

Don’t always,alwaysexpect the worst.

The more I think about it, the more on edge I start to feel. Like my skin is a size too small and all the bones are going to start poking out soon, tears appearing all over until I’m just raw flesh with no protective layer between me and the world. Like somebody’s prying off the protective casing, even though in actuality, nobody is.

Ryker leans toward me, a frown on his face now. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” I say. To make it look more real, I even manage a smile. And then, to make up for the fact that he has to put up with me, I suck it up and do the thing I don’t want to do.

“I’ll call him tomorrow,” I say.

Ryker studies me for the longest time before he nods. “Okay. We’ll call him.”

That ‘we’ makes all the difference. I may not trust most people, but I do trust Ryk. Endlessly. If he thinks hearing Scott out is a good idea… well, I guess I’m gonna hear Scott out.

LAKE

Despite me sayingI would call Scott, I procrastinate the hell out of it and fling out excuses left and right. Not to Ryker. To myself. Ryker happens to have the patience of a saint, so he can wait me out and match my stubborn streak with his own.

I even call my mother to ask her if she knows what’s caused Scott’s sudden interest in me. She doesn’t pick up, and when I eventually message her about it, she replies with a series of photos of her on a beach with messages likeLoving the life down underandYou should plan a visitattached to them.

In the end, I’m none the wiser.

“Do you think he’s dying?” I ask Ryker when we’re having dinner on Wednesday. My classes are over for the day, and Ryker doesn’t have a game until Friday. It’s a rare moment of him taking it easy for an hour in between training, watching game tape, and scarfing down inhuman portions of protein and carbs and whatever else is on his diet plan for the week.

He looks up from the roasted vegetables and chicken he’s been shoveling methodically into his mouth.

“Do I think who’s dying?”

“Scott.”

“And you’re basing that guess on…?”

I shrug. “It’s a thing, right? A person finds out they have some life-threatening condition, and they want to fix everything they’ve done wrong. Tie up the loose ends and make amends and stuff.”

He spears a piece of carrot on his fork and eyes it thoughtfully before he pops it into his mouth and aims his gaze at me. “Did he sound like he was dying?”

“He wasn’t gasping for breath or choking on the other end of the line. What’s a dying person supposed to sound like?”

He shrugs. “Unless he’s in the middle of dying, most likely he’d sound like his usual self.”

“What I’m hearing is I’m right, and he actually might be dying.”

“I’m not going to rule that out,” he says, clearly just to appease me. “Or a second possibility. He really does have regrets and just wants to apologize. And make amends. Maybe he wants to get to know you.”

I push my food around for a few seconds before I put my fork down, drag my fingers through my hair, and huff out an annoyed breath. “He couldn’t have just left me alone, could he?”

Ryk sends me a sympathetic look. “Want me to call him and tell him to fuck off?”

“Would you?”

“I will if that’s what you want.”

It’s tempting, I’m not going to lie. My problem is I’m also curious. Yeah, sue me, I want to know why, all of a sudden, after all these years, he’s looking me up. I contemplate for a while about which side of me is stronger—the curiosity, or the urge to just let the sleeping dogs lie.

“Oh, fuck it,” I eventually mutter. I grab my phone and fire off a text to Scott. I’ll meet him if he shows up. If he doesn’t, I’ll put this whole thing out of my mind for good.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Ryk asks when I put the phone down. I don’t know how the hell he even knows what I was doing, but at the same time, I’m not surprised he does.

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