Page 18 of Saving Saul

People I love tend to abandon me, but that won’t make me abandon them.

I don’t know what I’ll find when I track him down. I don’t know if I’ll get the answers I need or even recognize the man who once made me feel like I was his whole world.

But one thing is certain.

I’m going to find Saul Mensah.

I’ll make him face me, explain himself,look me in the eyewhen he does it. And if he’s in trouble—if he needs me, even if he doesn’t know it yet—I’ll be damned if I don’t show up for him.

Because love doesn’t just disappear overnight.

And neither do I.

PART II

After Saul

AFTER THE LOVE IS GONE

TESSA

Two Months after Reveal Day

It’s beeneight weeks since Saul walked out of my life, and I’m just as clueless about where he went as I was the day he left me standing there, alone, with three cameras catching every second of my heartbreak.

Now, I’m reduced to pacing my kitchen like a woman on the brink, clutching my phone like it’s the last lifeline keeping me from spiraling. The cold tiles sting against my bare feet, each step feeding the knot of anxiety twisting in my stomach. My fingers are raw from biting my nails, a habit I swore I’d quit but can’t seem to shake—not with my nerves unraveling like this.

“Gavin,” I say again, trying to keep the pleading out of my voice but failing miserably. “Please, just tell me what you know. I’m leaving LA in a week. I need something. Anything.”

Silence. I stop mid-step, holding my breath like that might make him talk faster. And then it comes—a sigh. But not the kind of sigh that says he’s caving or even feels bad for me. No, this is the kind of sigh that practically oozes annoyance, the kind thatsays he’s done with me, with this conversation, and with Saul and I’s drama.

The audacity of it hits me square in the chest, and I grip the counter’s edge to steady myself. Gavin is probably screaming with glee; me being jilted is reality TV gold. The least he could do is help me.

I know I’ve been relentless—eight weeks of emails, texts, and calls that would make a private investigator look lazy. Even I can admit I sound unhinged.

But how can I stop? Something deep in my gut, deeper than instinct, keeps screaming at me not to let this go. To find him. To get answers. I want to understand why the man who made me believe in forever disappeared.

“Tessa,” Gavin says finally, his voice flat, tired. “You’ve got to let this go. Saul made his choice. You have to respect that.”

Respect? Respectwhatexactly? That he left me in the lurch, humiliated and heartbroken in front of three rolling cameras? That he made me feel something I never thought I’d feel, only to rip it all away? No. Respect is the last thing I feel.

“I sound crazy,” I mutter, more to myself than to him. “I probably am crazy.”

Gavin doesn’t argue. He doesn’t reassure me, either. He just sighs again, softer this time, and I can almost hear him rubbing his temples. “Tessa, I get it. You feel like you need closure, but sometimes... sometimes you don’t get that. Sometimes you just have to move on.”

Move on. The words land like a slap, sharp and cold. Move on like it was all just a blip on the radar, like Saul didn’t reach into the depths of my soul and pull something out I didn’t even know was there. Move on like this ache in my chest isn’t a sign that something iswrong.

No, I can’t move on. Not yet. I don’t care if Gavin thinks I’m insane. I don’t care if everyone else does. Something bigger thanme is driving this—something I can’t explain but can’t ignore. Saul isn’t just gone; he’s lost. And I’m the only one who can find him.

“Listen, Gavin, I’m not asking you to break any agreements. I just want to know if he’s okay.”

And if he’s alive.That man is a ghost. Does he even exist? Am I genuinely losing my mind?

“Look,” he cuts in, the annoyance in his voice barely hidden now. “Even if I wanted to help you—and I don’t—Ican’t. Saul’s NDA is ironclad, tighter than anything you’ve ever seen. The man is a fortress.”

“A fortress,” I echo, bitterness curling around the words like smoke. “Funny how the guy who promised me the world is so good at building walls to keep me out.”

“Tessa,” Gavin says, his voice softening like he’s trying to reel me back in. “I get it. I do. But?—”

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