Page 50 of Saving Saul

I straighten my spine, ignoring how my pulse trips when he licks his lips, waiting for my answer.

“I need you to answer a few questions for me,” I say, my voice steady. “And then I’ll decide where this goes.”

He nods. “I understand. But can I ask you one question first? It’s been bugging me for a while

I clear my throat and sit up straighter. “Sure.”

Okay, why did you leave LA? I thought you might return home someday, but not this soon.”

I rub my hands over my knees and bite my lip. “I was a terrible actress, Saul.Love, Unmaskedwas my last-ditch effort at an acting career. I’d already decided to quit the show and the business the night you proposed. Saying yes to you was a huge leap of faith for me. So, when you didn’t show up the next day, and I couldn’t find you over the next few months- I went to plan B. I opened a small bakery and catering company.Bad Mamma Jammasmakes the best beignets and raspberry jam in town.”

He smiles at me and draws patterns on my right thigh with his finger beneath the table.Fresh.“I know, sweetheart, I’ve door dashed them every morning. You’re an amazing chef. Do you remember one night in the hub when we talked about opening a restaurant together one day?”

I nod. “I do remember, and it was such a sweet dream.” One fat tear falls down my cheek, and I try to keep it together but fail. “Then you reminded me that’s all it was, a dream because you left. I know you had to protect your family, but what about protecting my heart? Why didn’t you come to me sooner? I knew someone was following me, and I always felt watched when I returned home to New Orleans. That was you, wasn’t it?”

Saul nods, staring at me with no remorse and daring me to question his choice. His display of dominance turns me on when I should be furious.

I’m so fucked.

“Yes, I watched you, Tessa,” He rumbles. I had to make sure you were happy. I was determined to take care of you the same way I would take care of my wife because that’s who you are to me, my wife. “

My eyes narrow. “What do you mean take care of me?”

Saul doesn’t flinch at my question. Instead, he exhales slowly, his eyes holding mine with determination and vulnerability. His voice is low, but each word carries the weight of everything he’s kept bottled up.

“I mean, I ensured you had everything you needed, Tessa. I couldn’t be there for you, not how I wanted, but I wasn’t about to leave you to fend for yourself.” He moves closer, his voice steady but his eyes burning with intensity. “Do you think it was a coincidence that the perfect building for your catering business suddenly came down in price? Or that you got an influx of high-end clients when you needed them most?”

I blink, startled, but he keeps going, his words spilling like a dam breaking.

“I paid the lease down to a number that would make that old man happy enough to charge you a rent you could afford. I hired a PR firm to push your name into the right circles. Those big contracts? The ones that helped you expand with the Pelicans. That was me, Tessa. I made sure you never heard the wordno.”

My breath catches, but Saul doesn’t stop, his voice growing thicker with emotion. “I watched from a distance, ensuring you had everything you needed to succeed. I poured money into your dreams because I couldn’t be there to hold you when you doubted yourself. And I kept quiet because I knew you’d never take anything from me if you knew.”

He takes another step, closing the distance between us. “I ensured you were okay, even when it ripped me apart to do it from the shadows. I couldn’t be there, but I could do that much. Ihadto do that much. Because you deserve the world, Tessa. And if I couldn’t give it to you myself, I ensured no one else would stand in your way.”

His hands tremble at his sides, his voice breaking as he finishes. “That’s what I mean, Tessa. I cared for you the only way I knew—leaving you didn’t mean I stopped loving you. It never has.”

My heart pounds as his words hang in the air, raw and unguarded. I can’t speak or think—how do you respond to a man who turned his love into action, even when he wasn’t there to see the results?

He walks around the table and sits in the booth seat beside me, his hands trembling as they reach for mine, but I instinctively pull back, forcing him to sit in the weight of his regret. It’s too much-it’s all too much. He’s been here, watching, taking care of, loving me?

His voice cracks as he continues, his usual confidence stripped bare. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he begins, the words heavy, raw, and filled with something more profound than pain—desperation. “I’m so sorry I left you. I know I broke your heart. I broke us, and I must live with that daily.”

His piercing brown eyes lock onto mine, brimming with unshed tears, and for the first time, I see the man beneath the armor. Vulnerable. Exposed. The weight of his choices etched into every line of his face.

“You have every right to hate me,” he continues, his voice barely a whisper now, thick with emotion. “I thought I was protecting you, Tessa, and the people I love. But I was wrong. God, I was so wrong.”

He moves closer, his broad shoulders seeming smaller under the burden of his guilt. “I’ve spent every moment since thinking about you—praying for you, wishing I could go back and make it right. I promise you, if you ever give me another chance—justone—I’ll never leave you again. Not for anything, not for anyone. No matter what.”

His hand reaches for mine again, tentative, almost reverent, as if I’m something sacred he’s afraid to break. When his fingers brush against mine, the warmth of his touch ignites a flicker of the connection we once shared.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life making this up to you,” he pleads, his voice cracking. “I’ll do whatever it takes to prove I’m worthy of you that I deserve you. Just... please, Tessa. Say you’ll let me try.”

He’s not just asking for forgiveness; he’s laying his heart at my feet, willing to be broken if it means a chance to earn my love again. And for the first time, I see it—his fear, hope, and unwavering belief that what we had is worth fighting for.

His sincerity hits me square in the chest, and all I want to do is be alone with him.

I still want him.

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