Page 58 of Saving Saul

I shift closer, my voice dropping to a whisper. “Give me this chance, Tessa. Let me show you what’s possible, not just for us but for everything you’ve ever wanted. You’ve carried so much on your own for so long. Let me carry some of it with you. Let me be your partner in every way.”

Her silence stretches, but I see the spark in her eyes—the wheels turning, her heart weighing the possibilities. I don’t push. This isn’t a decision I can force. It has to come from her.

I brace myself as she studies me, her expression unreadable. The tension in the room is thick, pressing against my chest, making it hard to breathe. Tessa isn’t the type to let things go—not when something doesn’t add up. And I’ve given her plenty of reasons to dig deeper.

She sighs, finally letting the comforter fall from her hands, exposing soft curves that, in another moment, would have had me reaching for her, worshipping her like she deserves. But now? Now, I can’t think about anything but the truth sitting on the edge of my tongue, the truth I’ve been holding back like a dam about to break.

Her voice is measured, but I can see the sharpness behind it, the way she’s pulling at every thread, determined to unravel me."Before I answer you, I have questions."

I nod and sit on the edge of the bed, my body coiled tight. "You can ask me anything, and I’ll answer."

That’s a promise. And a risk.

Her dark eyes narrow slightly as she leans forward, wrapping her arms around her knees. "Well, my first question is, why?" She pauses, letting the weight of the single word settle between us before continuing. "I mean, Antoine can make your life a bit uncomfortable as the police chief, but it was a simple assault in response to him sexually harassing me. And I’m sure it’s on camera. So why run like you’re some criminal? With your wealth, I’m sure you can make this disappear. I mean, you called the mayor last night. THE MAYOR!”

I tilt my head back, staring at the ceiling as if looking for answers that won’t come, buying myself another second before I have to say the words aloud. I knew this was coming—I didn’t know it was coming this soon. But I should have, after that shit show last night.

Lies got me this far, but they won’t take me further.

She deserves the truth.

I stare at the floor, watching my damn demons dance in the shadows, feeling them claw at the back of my mind, screaming at me to hold it in, to protect her, to keep her from seeing this side of me.

But she’s already seen too much.

And I love her too much to keep lying.

I look up, my eyes locking onto hers, holding her gaze like it’s the only thing keeping me grounded. "Because Iama criminal, Tessa. I’m a murderer.”

Her breath catches, but she doesn’t flinch. She waits, steady and unwavering.

So I keep going because if I stop now, I won’t be able to start again.

"I killed him." My voice is quieter now but no less firm. "Patrick. My stepfather. I killed him with my own two hands."

The confession feels like it should set fire to the room and burn me from the inside out, but instead, it lands heavy and solid between us.

Tessa’s lips part slightly, and she stares at me for a moment. Processing. Trying to decide if I’m the man she thought I was or something else entirely.

I wait for her to move, speak, scream, and demand answers.

But she exhales, steady and slow. "How?”

A simple question. But not an easy one.

I roll my shoulders back, tension coiling through my muscles like a wire pulled too tight. “It was easy. Tessa, my body is a weapon. Since I was 14, I’ve been trained in the martial art of Krav Maga. It helped channel the darkness left over from my childhood. My violent streak doesn’t come out very often, and I didn’t want you to know that side of me existed." The words taste like iron on my tongue, heavy and unshakable.“Anyway, I didn’t have to do much. His death was clean. And it was necessary." My voice is raw, laced with a thousand memories I don’t want to relive, but she deserves the truth.

I inhale sharply, dragging a hand down my face. "I got word that Patrick was free. That he was at my grandmother’s house." My jaw tightens. "And I knew exactly what I had to do."

Tessa’s breath stills, but she doesn’t speak. She watches me, her grip on her pearls tightening.

"I didn’t go there to talk. I didn’t go there to beg him to leave us alone. I went there to end him." The admission sends a cold shudder down my spine, but it doesn’t change anything. I made my choice that night. And I’d make it again.

I lean forward, elbows on my knees, my fingers threading together as I force myself to keep going."I brought a garrote with me." My voice drops lower, the memory sharp and vivid. "Iwaited outside the home. He drank himself into a stupor, talking shit the whole time, swearing what he’d do to my grandmother, my sister, to anyone who crossed him." I close my eyes for half a second, then force them open again. "I waited until he passed out, and then I put the wire around his throat and pulled."

Tessa flinches, but she doesn’t move away. "Saul…"

I shake my head. "I needed to be sure. I needed to know he would never get back up. Never hurt anyone else." I exhale, my shoulders rolling forward as I stare at the floor. "It was slow. It was intentional. And I didn’t feel a damn ounce of regret when it was over."

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