Page 71 of Saving Saul

“Hey, sis,” I reply, fighting to keep the tremble out of my voice, though I’m sure she hears it anyway.

“Talk to us, honey,” Carissa chimes in, her tone like a balm to my frayed nerves. “What’s going on?”

I sink into the couch, the cushions swallowing me whole, a soft refuge against the weight pressing on my chest. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “It’s Saul,” I begin, the words heavy as they tumble out. “It’s us. We’ve hit this... wall. He’s so tied to Ghana, his family, and his responsibilities. And I’m... I’mnot sure where I fit in all of it. Plus, he never asked me to marry him again since that day at his cabin a year ago. What if he’s having second thoughts?”

Selene’s brows furrow, her initial wariness evident. “Tessa, why are you still there if it’s this complicated? Maybe it’s time to come home. Take a step back, regroup.”

Her words sting, not because they’re unkind, but because a part of me wonders if she’s right. I press my lips together, unsure how to respond.

“Selene,” Carissa interjects gently, her smile softening the edges of the conversation. “Let her get it out first.”

Selene sighs, her shoulders visibly relaxing even through the screen. “All right. Go on, Tessa. I’m listening.”

I rub my mother’s warm pearls that hang around my neck, my gaze on the floor. “He’s trying, Selene. I know he is. But it’s like... he’s carrying so much on his shoulders, and I don’t know how to ease the burden without losing myself. He’s so tied to this place and his heritage; I love that about him. But what about my dreams? My home? How do I ask him to choose without feeling I’m taking something from him?”

Selene tilts her head, her expression softening as her initial wariness fades into understanding. “Tessa, love is about compromise, but it’s not about sacrifice—not the kind where you lose yourself. You’ve been dreaming big since we were kids, and I’ve never known you to back down from what you want.”

“But how do I ask him to meet me halfway without making him feel like I’m asking him to give up who he is?” My voice cracks, and I hate how small I sound.

“You don’t,” Selene says firmly, leaning closer to the camera as if her proximity could make her point clearer. “You don’t make him choose. You find a way to blend your worlds. It won’t be easy, but the best things never are. What matters is that you both find joy in the journey together.”

Carissa’s laugh fills the silence that follows, warm and full of life. “Tessa, you’ve always been a force of nature. You’ve overcome more than most people could even imagine. Trust that same energy to guide you now. Trust Saul, too. He wouldn’t have brought you this far if he didn’t want to figure it out with you.”

Their words swirl around me, each one cutting through the fog in my mind. But the path ahead still feels uncertain, shrouded in doubt and fear. I trace the pearls around my neck, their smooth surface soothing me.

“What if blending our worlds isn’t enough?” I whisper, voicing the fear that’s been gnawing at me since the day we left New Orleans. “What if we’re just too different?”

Selene’s gaze sharpens, her tone unwavering. “Then you fight for it, Tessa. Love isn’t just about the good times; it’s about standing together when the road gets rough and figuring out how to make it work. But only if you both want it. Do you?”

I nod, the weight in my chest easing ever so slightly. “I do.”

Carissa smiles; her voice is soft but sure. “Then stop doubting yourself. You’ve got this, and you’ve got him. You have to believe it.”

Their confidence in me feels like a lifeline, pulling me back from the edge of uncertainty. I sit a little straighter, the knot in my stomach loosening. Maybe the path isn’t as straightforward as I’d like, but with Saul by my side—and my sisters reminding me of who I am—I know I’ll find my way.

* * *

Saul still hasn’t come home.

I sit on the edge of my bed, Selene’s words echoing in my mind, her voice steady and unyielding.Build a bridge.The phrase loops endlessly, carving its way into my heart. My fingers find the pearls at my throat, the cool surface radiating warmth that feels ancestral, bonding me to the women who came before me. Women who fought fiercely for love, family, and themselves.

"Build a bridge," I whisper to the silence, tasting the words, letting them root in my soul. My eyes flutter shut, and Saul’s face materializes behind my lids. That smile—the one that disarms me in an instant—melts me completely. His deep brown eyes, brimming with stories and unspoken promises, hold my gaze even in this imagined space. Our love is anything but simple. It’s a symphony, a kaleidoscope, a weaving of jazz and kente, vibrant and layered in ways that shouldn’t make sense but somehow do.

The thought surges through my chest, filling me with certainty so profound it feels like sunlight breaking through a storm. This is worth it.Heis worth it.Weare worth it.

I stand; the movement is small but transformative, my bare feet meeting the cool floor with quiet resolve. My reflection stares back in the mirror across the room, weary but determined. For the first time in what feels like forever, there’s something new in my eyes:clarity.

"All right, Tessa," I say to the woman in the glass, my voice steady and sure. "Let’s figure this out."

The words are more than a statement. They’re a promise—a vow to myself, Saul, and the love that’s brought us here. It’s not perfect, and maybe it never will be. But that’s what makes it real. The cracks and shadows in our story only enhance the beauty of it, the way flaws deepen the richness of a melody.

A shift rolls through me, subtle yet undeniable, like stepping out from the wings and into the spotlight. The doubts linger—they’re the restless audience waiting to see if I’ll rise to the moment. But they don’t own me anymore. I know my lines.

Compromise. Understanding. Faith.

My gaze drifts back to the pearls around my neck, and I brush my fingers over them one last time. They’re more than a family heirloom; they’re a testament to the strength pulsing through my veins. A legacy of love and resilience whispering,You can do this. You are enough.

I exhale slowly, the weight of my uncertainty lifting as I square my shoulders. The quiet power of choice settles deep into my bones, steady and unshakable. This is my story, and I’m ready to write the next chapter.

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