Page 53 of Strength of Desire

I wanted to tell him his promises meant nothing, this high off the ground. That those were very pretty words, but I wasn’t inclined to believe them, not when we were this close to tipping over the edge.

But the only reason I was still alive was because Noah had seen me falling and come after me. It would be poor repayment to not at least try to do what he asked. I just had to hope I didn’t slip and pull him down with me.

At least if I die, the last thing I’ll feel will be his arm around me, I thought, and had to bite back a panicked laugh.

I took a deep breath and turned, and Noah’s arm didn’t move an inch. He held me fast as I twisted, then stuck my leg out, jamming my right foot into the gutter.

“Good. Now your left foot.”

It was just like in Combat. All I had to do was follow his directions as he took me through it, step by step. Follow his directions, and not turn into a gibbering mess and swan dive off the roof in my terror. Easy peasy.

I breathed as deeply as I could and got my left foot into position. I was facing the roof now, and I’d moved out of Noah’s hold without even realizing it. All that was left was his hand, bracing against my calf.

“Alright,” he said. “Just stay there while I turn around too.”

I swear to God, I was even more scared when he turned than when I had. It wasn’t that I was eager to die a horrifying death, but some part of me had always sort of thought that might happen. Noah, though—I didn’t want to envision a world that he wasn’t in anymore. Especially if it was my fault.

Finally, he was turned around, leaning into the roof and bracing himself with his hands like I was. Snowflakes fell on the tiles and my hands alike, making both equally slippery.

“You see that ladder over there?” he said, nodding to the left. I did see it now, a black metal thing bolted to the side of a chimney that ran up along the edge of the roof. “We’re going to make our way to that, climb up it, and get back to the path. I hope.”

“Youhope?”

“Well, I’m not positive the path connects. But chances are, it does, if someone bothered to put a ladder there. Regardless, it’s freezing out, and our fingers are getting less dextrous with every minute, so it’s the best plan I’ve got.”

I clamped down on the urge to say his fingers had looked plenty dextrous when he’d been stroking his cock. What the fuck was wrong with me? Was Itryingto make him regret rescuing me?

I took another deep breath, nodded, and followed him as he began shimmying to the left. It was slow going, and a couple of times my foot waved wildly in the air before finding a toe hold in the gutter again. But eventually, we made it.

Noah inched past the chimney, making room so I could be the first one to climb it. I scrambled up, my heart in my throat, and almost cried with relief when I saw that the path met the top of the ladder, right where the chimney topped out.

“The path connects,” I yelled over my shoulder.

“Good,” Noah called. “Now follow it back to the door.”

I didn’t, though. I waited until he’d climbed the ladder too. If his hands slipped, I wanted to be there to grab him. I wasn’t sure how much help I’d be, but I could at least try.

But he reached the top unharmed, so I set off down the path, my heart still thumping, my ears trying to pick up the sound of Noah’s footfalls behind me before the wind rushed them away. When I reached the door, I collapsed against it and sank down to the platform, my body unable to move anymore.

I was too exhausted, and too scared. Ridiculous to still be scared, now that we’d reached safety, but since when had my body been anything other than ridiculous? I drew my knees up and buried my face in my hands, shaking.

I felt a thump as Noah sat down next to me, and the next moment, I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders.

“We did it, Cory,” he said. “Youdid it, and it’s okay. We’re going to be okay.”

I wanted to cry from relief and remembered fear, but I wasn’t going to do that. Not in front of Noah, whose breath I could see misting in the air, when I peeked between my fingers. Whose body was a comforting weight next to mine. Whose arm was still holding me.

God, it would be so much easier to stop wanting him if he would stop showing these moments of decency and kindness.

“Thanks,” I said finally.

“Of course.”

“Not of course.” I shook my head. “You could have let me fall.”

“Why would I do that?”

I dropped my hands and looked at him. “You don’t seem to like me very much.”

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