Page 51 of Demon of Dreams

I was no longer sure of anything. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. Was this some kind of incubus thing? Was I manifesting a dream in the real world, pulling Sean into it like the dean had said? Was Sean even aware of what he was doing right now, tracing his finger in a circle on my stomach, or was he going to wake up horrified in a minute?

The dean had said I couldn’t make anyone do something they weren’t interested in. But what if he was wrong? What if he was lying?

No, I couldn’t go down that road. If I started to question that, I had to question everything he told me, and my brain was too overwhelmed for that. But if I believed what the dean had said, then that meant I was into this too.

Dream or real life, I wanted this.

I felt sick to my stomach. Wanted to run and hide. And at the same time, I wanted Sean’s finger to stray lower, wanted his whole hand on my cock, wanted him to strip me naked and do whatever he wanted to me.

Nausea and desire made for a very strange mix.

“So if I walked out of this room right now,” Sean said, “and left you all by yourself, you’re saying you wouldn’t be disappointed? Youwantme to ignore how hard you are right now?”

My cheeks were on fire. I knew, logically, that if Sean were still here, teasing me, he must want this too. But I was mortified that he’d noticed how badly I wanted him.

“Maybe that’s why you sucked so badly out there,” he mused. “Maybe you weren’t trying to suck up to Noah at all. Maybe you just like being thrown around.”

This was humiliating. I didn’t like being thrown around, did I? I didn’t think so—and yet I couldn’t deny that I’d been turned on back in the gym. What was wrong with me?

Sean studied me, waiting for a response, but I still couldn’t muster one.Just do it, I begged him mentally.Just throw me down and do what you want to me. Take the decision out of my hands.

Suddenly, he was backing away, his smile self-satisfied and mocking. “Well, suit yourself. I wouldn’t dream of crossing a line you didn’t want me to cross.”

He shrugged, then turned for the door. His hand closed on the knob, unlocked it, and twisted. He took a step into the hallway.

“Wait,” I croaked.

He stopped walking, but he didn’t turn around. Didn’t say anything.

My throat was tight. If I told Sean to go, he would. I could push this all away, go back to dealing with my attraction—my deviance—in my dreams. Or I could tell him to stay, and act on my desires for the first time in real life.

There was no way I was brave enough to do that. No way Iwantedto do that. No way I would choose this, when I had other options.

“Don’t,” I said.

“Don’t what.”

Was he going to make me say it?

“Don’t leave.”

Sean turned and crossed the space between us so quickly I wondered if I’d only imagined him leaving. He looked down at me, fire in his eyes, and ran a thumb along my lower lip. My breath caught.

Was he about to kiss me? I’d never actually been kissed, and stupid as it sounded, I wasn’t sure I wanted my first kiss to be like this. I knew it was dumb to think it would involve cherubs and rainbows, but I’d never imagined it coming from someone who’d looked ready to kill me ten minutes ago.

I opened my mouth to tell him no, no kissing, but before I could speak, he patted my cheek.

“Good job. I knew you could do it.”

Indignation flashed through me, along with more shame. Here I’d thought Sean was going to kiss me, and instead, he’d just humiliated me some more, treating me like some kind of pet.

“Let’s get a look at you.” His hands went to my waist, grabbed the bottom of my shirt, and tugged it over my head in one smooth motion.

My skin prickled from the sudden cold. I clasped my arms across my chest, tucking my hands into my armpits. Sean just laughed and pulled them away.

“I said I want to look at you.” His voice was demanding, imperious. “If that’s a problem for you, I can always leave.”

He waited a second to see if I would object. When I didn’t, he kicked the door shut behind him with his foot. Then he laughed and unzipped my fly, shoving my pants and boxers down to my hips. My cock sprang free, and he looked at it appraisingly.

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