His expression darkens. “I would never hurt you, Mary. You know that.”
“I do,” I say. “But that’s not what I meant. Just the way you are. Powerful. In control. It’s thrilling but also frightening because I feel so out of control around you.”
“You like being out of control.” Connor resumes drawing patterns on my skin with his fingers.
“But it scares me, too. I’m not used to it. Not having any control is…”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. You have far more power over me than you realize. One smile, one kiss, one word from you is all it takes to bring me to my knees.”
I stare at him, stunned by the raw emotion in his voice and eyes. This man who stalked me without my knowledge, who hacks into secure systems as easily as breathing, is undone by me? The thought is dizzying.
“Mhm, still, we need to set some ground rules if this stalking thing is going to continue. You can’t keep digging into my privacy,” I say.
“Ground rules?” His hands still again.
“First of all.” I hold up my index finger to emphasize my point. “Uh, what exactly do you have access to?”
Connor raises one eyebrow. “You sure you want me to answer that?”
He’s opening up to me, letting me in. But there’s hesitation, too. Fear I’ll reject what I see? Or that he’s revealed too much?
My heart pounds. I know this is the point of no return. If we cross this line, there’s no going back. But I already know my choice. “Tell me everything.”
Connor ticks the list off his fingers. “Let’s see… your phone, laptop, cloud storage, email, social media, bank accounts, home security system, Alexa devices, your car’s GPS, a camera outside your apartment…” He pauses. “Should I go on?”
My mouth drops open in shock. I knew he was good, but this is beyond what I imagined.
“Don’t look so surprised, Blue. You knew I was thorough.”
I pout. “I didn’t realize you meant that thorough.”
He strokes my cheek. “I told you, I’ll do anything to protect you. Even from yourself, if necessary.” His voice is gentle, but there’s an edge to it.
“Connor, that’s—You can’t just invade every part of my life like that. I need privacy, too.”
“Privacy is overrated. And dangerous. I’ve seen what you keep hidden, what you think you want.”
I flush, thinking of recent ill-advised Google searches after too much wine.
“That means you also read all my text messages?”
Even the ones I wrote with Gemma and Lil? No wonder he was so sure of himself. He knew.
“Of course, I read them.” He’s not looking the least bit apologetic. “I told you, full access. No exceptions.”
“All of them?” I groan and cover my face with my hands. “Did you really have to read those? You couldn’t just, I don’t know, skim past the personal stuff?”
Those messages were private conversations between friends. Girl talk and venting that was never meant for him to see.
“I’m nothing if not thorough, Blue.”
“Ugh. Well, rule number one: no more reading my private messages or emails. Anything between me and Gemma or Lil is off limits from now on.”
“You know I can’t make that promise. If you’re in danger—”
“Nope, no excuses.” I cross my arms and fix him with my most serious glare. “I deserve to have some privacy with my closest friends. That’s non-negotiable.”
Connor studies me for a long moment before nodding slowly. “Fine. I’ll refrain from actively monitoring your correspondence with Lil and Gemma. Unless I have reason to believe you’re at risk in some way.”