But I’m too selfish, too greedy. I’d rather she see me as her dream man than the nightmare I’ve become. So I’ll keep playing along, being whatever version of me she wants. Her perfect, loving boyfriend. Her fucktoy. Her soulmate.
Her ‘not Chris’.
I could walk away now. Disappear from her life as easily as I entered it. It would be the smart thing to do. The safe choice.
But when have I ever played it safe where Mary is concerned?
Because as long as she wants me, I’ll give her anything she desires. Even if it means drowning myself in the depths of my own deceit. Even if it means I can never truly have her love, only her infatuation with a dead man walking.
If only she knew the truth. That every touch, every kiss, every night spent tangled in her sheets is a lie. That the man she loves is just a mask concealing the monster who shattered her in the first place.
I’m not her Connor.
I’m not her Chris.
I’m just me.
A fucked up, depraved shell of a man unworthy of her light. And I’ll keep lying to make her stay, even if it means living a lie forever.
I need a drink.
I pull out my phone—
What the…
I do a double take when I see Mary’s location.
What is she doing here? Did something happen?
Accessing the camera feeds, I see Gemma walking into the elevator and Mary and Lil standing in the lobby.
I quickly text Elijah.
Connor: Gemma is on her way to you.
Elijah: I know.
Mary isn’t here for me. I don’t think she knows I live here. How would she? Maybe it’s time? I could throw her over my shoulder and cuff her to my bed. At least until she forgets Chris and I’m everything she can think about.
I shoot another text to Bash.
Connor: Lil is here. Lobby.
Bash: And?
Connor: I know everything.
Bash: Your stalking is getting on my nerves, asshole.
Connor: Love you, too.
Sebastian and Lil have a complicated history, but perhaps he can distract her long enough for me to have a conversation with Mary.
I wait until Sebastian walks down and follow after.
A smirk tugs at my lips as I take in her disheveled appearance in the lobby. Clearly, several drinks past tipsy. This will not be easy. At least I got her alone.
“Hey, Blue.” I walk over to her.