I wanted her to find happiness with someone else. Someone who could give her what I can’t.
But I’m selfish. Greedy.
The thought of her in another man’s arms, giving herself to someone else, makes my blood boil. I need her. I crave her touch, her smile, those big blue, bright, and endless eyes that swallow me whole in the best way.
I got caught up in the fantasy, in the idea that maybe, just maybe, she could love me for who I am.
I’m aching for her presence, her forgiveness. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. The thought of her walking away, of her hating me. It’s unbearable.
Everything has shattered into a million fucking pieces.
I should have told her the truth from the beginning. I should have given her the choice to love me or leave me. But I was too much of a coward. Too afraid of losing her before I even had a chance.
My fingers curl into fists.
Two weeks. Two horrible weeks since she stormed out of my apartment, tears streaming down her cheeks, betrayal etched into the lines of her beautiful face. And I know I have no one to blame but myself.
I’m going crazy.
Hell, I already went crazy after two days of not getting my fill of her.
Blue, where are you in your head right now?
Do you hate me?
You’re always so close but still far away.
Out of my reach.
Mary steps into her office, stopping in the middle of the room. I freeze.
Her gaze lifts directly to the camera. It’s the first time she has given me some kind of acknowledgment. Her eyes narrow.
Don’t. Don’t take that away from me as well.
She picks up a sticky note from her desk and moves her chair to the camera. Standing on it, she covers the camera with the piece of paper, effectively blindfolding my view of her.
“Damn it.” I push back from my desk, my chair clattering against the floor.
She didn’t mind the other days. Why today?
I’m out the door and on the way to the office in seconds.
Enough hiding behind screens and walls. It’s time to face this. Face her. I need to see those eyes, not through a lens, but up close, where I can read every emotion, every flicker of thought.
I love her. And I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that to her, even if it means starting over from scratch and earning her trust all over again.
Because I can’t lose her. Not like I lost—
I’ll prove that I’m worth the risk, worth the pain. Mary is worth everything.
The door to her office is half-closed.
I enter, shut the door, and secure the lock. The sound draws her attention from the window, and she faces me.
Her normally warm, vibrant eyes now regard me with an icy apprehension that twists my insides. The fear etched in her features feels alien and wrong, and the realization that I put it there makes me the unwelcome outsider. Causing her to feel this way was never my intent.
Her voice trembles, barely a whisper, “Get out.”