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“Please, just hear me out.” I reach for the blinds, fingertips grazing the plastic wand and twisting until the slats snap shut.

“Is this necessary?”

“Mary, I need you to understand.” The words scrape against my throat as I force them out. “Everything I did… I never meant to hurt you.”

Silence hangs between us, thick and heavy. When she remains unmoving, statue-still, I take it as permission to continue.

“That night at the party… I never meant to deceive you, Blue. Chris had planned to take advantage of you, and I couldn’t stand by and let that happen. I was protecting you.”

“By sleeping with me?” A bitter laugh escapes her lips. “Some protection.”

“You’re right. That was unforgivable. I took advantage of your situation, of you, and I’m sorry.” I ache to bridge the distance between us, but I can’t. It would only push her farther away. “Seeing you and having you within reach, I couldn’t resist anymore. I lost control and got caught up in the moment. And now, every moment away from you feels like I’m suffocating.”

Her eyes soften, and her shoulders loosen up, which gives me the courage to step closer. “I donned a mask that night, but the man beneath it, the one who admires you, who cares for you deeply, that’s no deception, Blue. The Connor you got to know, that’s me. The man who loves you more than his own goddamn life. The one who would do anything to keep you safe, to make you happy.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because I was a coward. Afraid of rejection, of not being enough for you to stay. I’m sorry.” Each word is heavy with the weight of my regret. “I’m sorry for the lies, for the pain I’ve caused. I’m sorry for hiding when I should have been honest.”

I can see her processing everything.

She’s right to distrust me. But I can’t let her go. I won’t. She’s the only light in my dark, fucked up world. The only thing that makes me feel something other than the cold emptiness that’s eaten at me for as long as I can remember.

“Give me a chance to make things right,” I say. “Please. I know I fucked up. I know I hurt you in ways I never meant to.Tell me what I can do. Tell me how I can fix this. I’ll do anything. Anything you want. Just… please. Don’t give up on me. On us.”

I want to reach for her, to pull her into my arms and make her understand. But I don’t have that right. Not anymore. Maybe not ever again.

And then, after a moment that stretches into eternity, she nods ever so slightly.

“I want to meet Chris. The real one. Face to face,” she says.

Fuck. Disbelief and dread twist in my gut. Of all the requests she could make, this is the one I feared most. What if he tries to hurt her again? What if he spins more lies, and she falls for them? I can’t risk that.

“If you really care about me,” she says. “If any of this was real, then you owe me this much.”

And that’s why I should keep her away as far as possible from him. I get it. She needs closure. But the thought of her being anywhere near that psychopath makes my insides coil into knots.

“Chris is dangerous,” I say.

“So are you,” she counters, “and yet here I am.”

The words strike deep, and I flinch. I should have gotten him killed, or am I lucky?

“Are you scared that it’ll uncover another lie? That you only did this to have Chris out of the picture?”

And another blow to my heart. But I can’t blame her for doubting me.

“I would never do that to you,” I say. “I’ve watched you date posh guys and be with some in college, even when they treated you like shit. I admit, I didn’t just stand by. Tires were slashed or some malware installed, but nothing too serious… until Chris.”

She crosses her arms. “If you want any chance at forgiveness, let me meet him.”

The resolute glint in her eyes tells me she won’t back down. Part of me wants to lie again, make up some excuse why meeting Chris isn’t possible. But she’d see right through it. The jig is up.

No more lies or half-truths. If I want even a sliver of a chance with her, I have to give her what she needs. Closure. Answers. The full truth once and for all.

Even if it means losing her for good.

My chest aches at the thought. These past weeks with Mary have been the only rays of light in my otherwise bleak existence. She makes me feel alive in a way I’ve never experienced before. I can’t lose that warmth. I won’t survive the cold if she walks away. I barely survived the last two weeks.

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