Page 157 of Far

I sink into the plush leather seat, my stomach churning with a mix of anticipation and dread. Connor settles beside me, his presence both comforting and unsettling.

A stewardess appears, her smile too bright for my somber mood. “Can I bring you anything before we take off?”

I shake my head.

“We’ll have a meal once we’re in the air, thank you,” Connor speaks for both of us.

She nods and disappears, leaving us alone in the suffocating silence. The plane ascends, pressing me back into my seat. Reality crashes over me like a tidal wave. I’m flying to Italy to confront the man who deceived me, the man I thought I loved.

His hand finds mine, his fingers lacing through my own. I want to pull away, to retreat into my anger and hurt, but his touch steadies me.

I hate that he still has this effect on me, even after everything.

His thumb strokes over my knuckles. It’s a small gesture, but it speaks volumes. He’s here, he’s trying, he’s… fuck, I don’t know what he is anymore.

The signal for the seatbelt goes out, and seconds later, the stewardess returns, bearing a tray laden with Spaghetti alla Napoletana. The aroma of the noodles with tomato sauce wafts through the cabin. Did Connor? Although this is my favorite, my appetite has vanished.

She sets the tray down on the table in front of us.

“How long will the flight be?” I free my hand from his grasp, the loss of his warmth leaving me hollow.

He watches me, his eyes dark with an emotion I can’t name. “About eight hours.”

Or maybe I just don’t want to.

“Eight hours.” I feel the weight of each hour like a stone in my stomach.

“You’re not hungry?”

“No, not really.” The thought of food makes me feel sick even more.

He holds up my fork to me. “I know this is difficult for you. But you need to keep your strength up. Please eat something.”

I shoot him a glare. “Don’t tell me what I need. You have no idea what I’m going through right now.”

He flinches at my harsh tone, but I can’t bring myself to care. He’s the reason I’m in this mess, the reason my heart feels like it’s been shattered into a million pieces. The reason I'm safe.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I-I never meant to hurt you.”

“Well, you did a pretty fucking good job of it anyway.”

The stewardess returns, her smile faltering as she senses the tension between us. “Is everything alright?”

“Fine.” I stare out the window.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” she says.

“Why did you do it? Why did you pretend to be someone else?” I ask.

“I couldn’t resist you,” he says. “That night at the masquerade, when we danced, when we kissed… I knew it was wrong to pretend to be someone else, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted you so badly.”

“So you thought it was okay to just take what you wanted? To manipulate me into sleeping with you?” My voice trembles with anger and hurt.

“No, that’s not… I didn’t plan for it to happen like that. I just wanted to talk to you to get to know you better. But then things escalated, and I couldn’t stop myself.”

“Bullshit.” I cross my arms over my chest. “You could have stopped at any point. You could have told me the truth.”

He reaches for me, but I flinch away. “Blue, please. I know I fucked up. I know I hurt you. But my feelings for you are real. What we have is real.”

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