I press my palms against the cool tile. How do you patch up a wound with the same hands that caused it? How do you seek forgiveness when you can’t forgive yourself?
Chapter 44
Mary
I lounge by the pool, blankly staring at the crystal blue water. The gentle lapping and distant laughter mingle in my ears. Although the Italian sun warms my skin, I feel cold and empty. Like a vital piece of me is missing.
The last two days have been a blur. Connor’s presence lingers nearby, always watching. But the silence between us stretches like an endless chasm. The easy intimacy we once shared is gone, replaced by a tense, fragile truce.
I drift in and out of consciousness, torn between wanting him near and needing space.
Lost. Longing for something I can’t even name. Something Connor used to make me feel, but now I don’t know.
I glance over at him, his dark eyes hidden behind sunglasses.
He’s been so quiet, so distant since we got here. Barely a word, barely atouch.
It’s like he’s here but not really present. With me, but notwithme. Here but still far away. Just like he always was.
Irritation prickles under my skin. He hasn’t even tried to apologize again. To explain himself, to make things right.
Maybe that’s why I feel this emptiness inside. Because deep down, I’m afraid. Afraid that he doesn’t want me anymore. That pretending to be Chris was just a game to him and now that it’s over, so are we.
But I’m not ready to end this. I never was. It’s selfish, but I don’t care. I want my fairytale ending, and I want it with him… I just don’t know how.
He approaches, footsteps muffled on the terracotta tiles and his shadow falling over me. “Dinner?”
His voice is always gentle and cautious.
I nod, follow him, and stop as he’s walking toward the stairs to the hotel rooms, not the restaurant.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“We’ll have it in our suite.”
I still don’t move.
“Trust me?” He holds out his hand, and for the first time in days, it feels like we’re closer.
I take it, relishing in the warmth I missed.
We step into the suite, my breath catching in my throat. The room is bathed in a soft, warm glow from the flickering candles scattered around. But it’s the sight of the couch area that makes my heart skip a beat.
A beautifully prepared dinner awaits us. Delicate rose petals are strewn across the table, their velvety red a stark contrast against the crisp white tablecloth. A bouquet of roses sits in the center, their sweet fragrance filling the air.
My gaze drifts to the TV screen, and I can’t help but let out a small giggle. It’s my favorite reality show, the one I always watch when I need a pick-me-up. A man handing out roses and women fighting over him.
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, and I blink furiously to keep them at bay. “What’s all this?”
Connor steps closer behind me. “I don’t… I thought it might help.”
I swallow hard, my throat tight with emotion. “You didn’t have to do all this.”
“I have a proposition.” His fingers graze my arm. “How about we forget everything for one night and enjoy each other’s company?”
All I see in his eyes are sincerity and a depth of emotion that takes my breath away.
“Connor.”