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You know what? I won’t wait around anymore.

I did that long enough, enduring these sleazy lawyers instead of kicking them, preferably in the nuts, waiting for my father toacknowledge me instead of asking for it, every time waiting for Connor to make a move, so I feel reassured because I’m scared.

I’m scared he’ll reject me.

What if he feels the same? Rightfully so, thinking back on how I acted these last days.

No more waiting for things to happen.

I lay down my fork. God, I’m trembling. But I have to do this if I don’t want to lose him.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Find your Zen.

He won’t reject me.

Chapter 45

Connor

I fucked up. I can see it in the way Mary’s eyes dart away from mine, the slight tremble in her fingers as she sets down her fork. The conversation about trust and second chances hit too close to home.

God, I want to reach out to her, to gather her into my arms and make up for the pain I caused. But I don’t know if it’s too soon.

My mind races with a thousand different scenarios, each more disastrous than the last. What if she never forgives me? What if I’ve lost her for good? What if it can never go back to the way it was before?

“I’m gonna take a shower.” I stand up abruptly.

Mary’s gaze snaps to mine, surprise and something else flickering in her eyes. Fuck, I’m screwing this up again, aren’t I?

If I stay… If I push too hard, will she shatter like the fragile trust between us? Patience. I clench my fist and stride toward the bathroom.

The door clicks shut behind me, but it does nothing to muffle the accusatory voices in my head.

Why do I always fuck up the things that matter most? First with the lies, the deception and now with this.

I twist the shower knob viciously, hoping the scalding water can burn away the guilt eating at me. It’s no less than I deserve.

Suddenly, the shower door clicks open, steam billowing out like a sigh. I turn to find Mary standing there. Naked.

“Blue…” I didn’t hear her.

She steps in, and the space between us shrinks to nothing. There’s a vulnerability to her movements that makes my chest ache, a determination that steels my resolve.

I won’t hurt her again.

As the first drops of water hit her skin, she flinches, and I immediately turn the knob to a lukewarm temperature.

Her eyes focus on mine, and I let mine wander over her body as the water cascades over her taut nipples and forms on her stomach before disappearing between…

Our eyes meet again. Hers searching, mine pleading for forgiveness I’m not sure I deserve.

“Are you okay?” My hand reaches out, tentative, stopping just short of her cheek.

“There’s room for two, you know.” She leans into the touch.

I brush my thumb over her soft skin. She’s here, real, and whatever this is, whatever we are, it’s not just a figment of my twisted fantasies.

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