Page 68 of Mr. February

Wade heaved a sigh.

“Yeah, I understand. Even without her shitty exes screwing up her confidence, there’s always the possibility she won’t feel the same way I do. It’s just one more reason to dial back the emotions and try to live in the moment. But holy shit, if those moments are anything like earlier, they will be memorable.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I put condoms and lube in your laptop bag.”

Chapter 21: My Brain Forgets I Know How to Speak

JENNY

The following morning, Jenny dressed with care. As she studied her reflection, she wondered if she looked different. She felt different. Last night, she had expected to toss and turn, but her conversation with Gloria eased her mind enough that she fell into a dreamless sleep and woke up refreshed.

The change was due to Wade and how he made her feel. Not just the orgasms—but she would like more of those soon, please and thank you—but the way he made her feel about herself. His words and Gloria’s insights shifted her whole world view. Now she felt sexy and more confident.

She thought she was comfortable with her body before, but it was simply a mask to hide the insecurities heaped on her by people who should have treated her better. Jenny was attracted to everyone she dated, but they each dated her despite their lack of sexual interest in her.

After years of being told by her own boyfriends that she was too big to be sexy, she internalized it. But it was more than just their words. Some of her earliest memories were of her dad telling her it was a good thing she was a hard worker since she would never be able to rely on her looks or her brains.

She had long since stopped believing him about her intellect, but she let him warp her perception of her appearance. It took years to accept that she was more than “a pretty face and a nice personality,” as her first college boyfriend described her to someone else. Passably pretty was the most she ever let herself believe.

Not anymore. A sex goddess had been unleashed the night before.

“Eek!”

Her phone dinged and startled her out of her reverie.

“Do women have wet dreams, or is that just for men?” Gloria asked via text.

She snorted but ignored that comment in favor of asking a question of her own.

“Is it anti-feminist to think I’m sexy now that someone else has said it?” she asked instead.

Her phone vibrated with an incoming call, and she answered.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Gloria said. “I’m about to head to work, so you’re on speaker phone. If men said you weren’t sexy, it makes sense it would take another man to help you see that you are. It’s all well and good for women to say it, but you’re not into women, so it’s not the same.”

“That’s true,” Jenny said after a thoughtful pause. “All the positive self-talk in the world didn’t do nearly as much as the words of a guy I’m interested in.”

“It’s what I’ve been saying: geeky guys are where it’s at. Mostly. If you date anyone else after Wade, I’m vetting them because your taste in men sucks. You date anyone who asks youout, and if they aren’t overtly mean, you stick around. That’s a terrible strategy for dating. Hang on a minute.”

Jenny was struck dumb by Gloria’s words. Surely that wasn’t true. Was it? As she reviewed her dating history, though, it was more accurate than she wanted to admit. In the background, Gloria’s car started.

“I’m back. Where were we?”

“I’ve thought about it, and you’re right,” Jenny said in a serious voice. “You’re in charge of my love life going forward. I’m clearly not capable of making good decisions.”

“Well, in that case, I’d like to remind you about the gifts I got you. They’d be perfect for today.”

“Gloria,” Jenny gasped.

“Probably not the name you want to call out in a heated moment, but who am I to say? I’m not into threesomes with friends, though, so keep that in mind.”

Jenny choked on an embarrassed laugh as Gloria spoke again.

“But seriously, it’d be perfect, especially if he isn’t ready to go all the way. If nothing else, it’d make for a memorable Valentine’s Day,” she cajoled.

“Valentine’s Day? Oh, no. I forgot. Is that today?”

“Tomorrow. I hope you brought your sluttiest underwear and have plans to blow a geeky mind. I’m certainly going to.”

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