Page 96 of Vampire's Hearth

Silence engulfed the room as she stood frozen. I wanted to fold her in my arms, caress her, and tell her everything would be alright. But I knew it wouldn’t be. I hung my head, refusing to look her in the eye. “This is the only way.”

A fine line of tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to spill over, as she caught my gaze, forcing her words into the open air. “I just lost Amara. How can I lose you, too?”

I looked into her eyes—the green reminding me of the Irish grass on a dewy morning—eyes I would forever miss. A storm raged inside me—fear, love, regret—all battling to be spoken of first. “I’m doing this because I already lost you through not believing in you and not trusting you. The only way I can show you I never lied about finding the Cure and fulfilling my duty to my family is to allow my death.”

Rory’s face crumpled, her hands shaking as her composure shattered. “Mac...” Her voice was a broken whisper, filled with fear and sorrow, trails of wetness spilling onto her cheeks.

I ignored her earlier warning and moved to her, pulling her into my chest as if I could take away her pain by sheer force of will. “Let me do this for you—for us.” The steadiness of my voicebetrayed the terror creeping up inside me because no one was ever ready to face death head-on, even a nine-hundred-year-old vampire.

Tears streamed down her face, soaking my shirt to my skin. I felt her beautiful lips part against my chest as she trembled slightly, drawing in a soft breath.

My life was meaningless without her. But as long as I could show her my desire to break the curse wasn’t a lie and that I had fought for it with everything in me, maybe—just maybe—she would find it in her heart to forgive me after I was gone. I inhaled the scent of roses and oranges that drifted from her skin, mixing with the rich fragrance of her blood, the only part of her I had never been offered. The scent haunted my thoughts as I realized this was as close as I would ever get to tasting it.

Rory stepped back from me, drying her eyes with the back of her hand. She walked to Jade, who wrapped an arm around her grieving friend’s shoulder.

Conall stepped closer, his hand hovering near my shoulder before returning to his side. His eyes darkened, sorrow etched into the lines of his face. “Brother, are you sure? If you go through this, you will lose her forever.”

I glanced at Rory, catching how her eyes fell to the ground, her arms tightening around her body as though she were trying to hold herself together. “I’ve already lost her,” I breathed, the truth falling over me like a shroud—suffocating, final.

Rory shifted her stance, her arms crossing even tighter over her chest as she drew a deep breath. Her voice was flat and distant when she finally spoke. “Let’s just get this over with.” She flicked her eyes toward Jade. “Why don’t you come with me? Help me prepare the spell while Conall and Mac—”

“Cormac.” I corrected her. “It’s Cormac. I hate the nickname Mac. I only used it to deceive you.” I gave her a small smile, having no intention of allowing my lies to live on after me.

Rory’s eyes flickered with pain as she whispered, “Cormac.” She stopped for a moment, her eyes never leaving mine. “Is there anywhere, in particular, you want to do the spell?” she asked, her words gentle.

I nodded, a small, bittersweet smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. “In the cave.”

Her breath caught in her throat, and I heard her heart stutter, then speed up. It seemed a fitting place to end it all, where the memory of her body on mine could surround me as I took my last breath.

Her eyes fluttered shut, and I feared she would deny this request for a moment until a single tear slipped down her cheek, shimmering in the dim light. “Okay,” she whispered, her voice thick, like she used all her breath to force out the words. “Jade and I will go and prepare.”

Conall shifted beside me; his eyes clouded with an unspoken sorrow. His voice wavered as he spoke. “I guess I’ll go find the ash.” No one in my family had ever truly contemplated death.

I strolled back to my room, my steps echoing off the walls as I walked through the great hall. The wood railing was cold and smooth as I climbed the stairs. Our sitting room, made over with modern furniture, felt empty. Film reels of the past flickered in my mind of my brothers and me sharing tales of our conquests within these walls. At the front of the house, I crept to my room, in the opposite corner of my father’s, the man I had always admired. I pushed the door open, allowing the familiar creak to sink into me. I stood there, staring, watching the memories play. Once I left, I would never step foot in this place again, never get to say goodbye to my parents, Lorcan, or even Aiden.

And when this was done, Rory and I would be parted forever.

Aurora

Jade and I walked along the shore toward the cave that Mac had chosen for the spell. I didn’t want to go in there, to go back to a place that held such memories. I ran my hand across my chest, trying to soothe the pain as my heart tore apart, a single tear threatening to fall from the corner of my eye. There was no reason I should have to do this. It was one thing when he had been abducted and I didn’t know where he was, but at least I could tell myself he was alive. After I was done with this spell, I couldn’t even tell myself that. The finality of losing him, so close to losing Amara, dug into my soul. My feet dragged as though I was walking through quicksand. I pushed myself forward, the material of my long, belted dress swishing around my ankles.

A small, pained laugh escaped my lips as my hand fell to the athame in my belt.

“What are you thinking?” Jade whispered as her fingers brushed mine before she adjusted the bag that held our ritual supplies on her shoulder.

I shook my head. “Mac’s family doesn’t have a cemetery to bury him in because none of them are dead. He’ll be the first.” I grasped my arm, hugging my chest, my insides hollow. There was no way out of this. Never mind where his body would end up—what about his soul?

Jade gave a nervous chuckle. “That is a very weird thought.”

“I don’t want to dwell on it,” I said as we ducked into the cave.

The moon shone through the opening in the roof of the cave, dancing on the waters like diamonds. I looked at the opening, following the moonbeam to the water. It sparkled differently than the last time I had been in here, when the sun had been out. I remembered the way the water ran off Mac’s chest, the feel of his tongue, his cock. I ground my teeth and shook my head. None of that mattered now.

Jade and I unpacked the bag, placing candles in a semicircle and lighting them. I unfurled the map we had used to find Mac’s family and set it on the ground. I swallowed hard, my throat tightening as I glanced around. The soft glow of the candles would have made for the most romantic setting if Mac and I were ever going to have that sort of relationship again.

The name I knew crossed my mind, and I corrected myself.Cormac. Cormac O’Cillian, the vampire I loved, and I was about to kill to break a curse. I pushed the feelings out of my mind, grasping my pendant, trying to draw strength from those who had worn it before me, praying my mother’s voice would find me and guide me in a different direction, but she was silent.

I turned as Cormac and Conall’s feet rustled through the sand at the mouth of the cave. My eyes flickered to the sharpenedwood that Conall held. My heart sank, and I fought the tremble of my lip and the shaking of my hand.

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