Page 106 of For Fillies and Monsters

That ends today.

He’s on my heels, his breath wheezing, his feet sloppy and slipping around the barn floor. I can easily outrun him. He’s old, weak, and drunk; I’m strong, faster, angrier. I don’t run too fast, though. I want him to catch me. I want to show him the woman I’ve become, not because of him, but despite him.

Sliding to a stop along the far wall, I wrap my steady fingers around the end of the metal branding iron that leans there—leaning in the same place I had set it all those years ago, dusty and unmoved. If there ever was divine intervention, this is it.

Within seconds, I can smell his putrid breath filling the space around me. He chuckles, weak hands extended out, more falling toward me than reaching for me.

“You’re next,” he hisses.

But I won’t be. No one else may choose me, but I choose me.

And then I swing the metal iron, smashing it into his head with twenty-eight years’ worth of despair.

FORTY-FIVE

STETSON

July 21st, 2024

The first thingI notice is the unforgiving end of a boot smashing into my ribs—not pinning me,but trying to pulverize me.My first thought is not how to escape the boot, but that I still have not told Gus I love him.

Why? Why have I not done that yet?

Sucking in a ravenous breath, my lungs feel like they’ve been plunged into cement, my throat dry and cracked. I peel open my eyes, the light causing me to squint and groan in pain. The world around me is too bright, too loud,too hot.

Everything hurts, everything feels like it’s on fire.

My eyes snap open at that thought, taking in my surroundings.Fire.

Everything is on fire.

I tilt my head, my face pressed into straw and dirt, heavy and throbbing, something running from my hairline. I strain my eyes, piecing together more of my surroundings—the horses are screaming, their whinnies slicing through my foggy brain. I see them, all still behind locked stall doors, flames licking up the exterior of the wooden structure. It’ll only be a matter ofminutes before the entire barn is engulfed—me and my precious babies with it.

I try, and fail, to stand, my legs and arms like Jell-O beneath me, and that damn boot stomps into my back again, knocking the air from me once more. I don’t know how I got here. The horses—I have to get the horses out.The weight shifts on my back and I take that moment to push myself up, every muscle quivering. Before I have a chance, I’m violently yanked back by my hair, and I scream, both in terror and frustration.

I have to get the horses out.

“Did you fucking hear me, you whore? I know! I know you killed my brother, and I know you stole this land from me. Can’t say I’m not a little impressed. You do have some of the Walker guts, after all.”

The last thing I want in this life is to have “Walker guts”. I just wanted freedom. I wanted someone, anyone, to fight for me—even when I realized that someone had to be me.I deserve that.

I stumble backward, crashing into the voice behind me. He leans in closer, his liquor-coated breath burning my already boiling skin. “But you stole from me, and I’m more a Walker than you’ll ever be. This. Place. Is. Mine.” Each word is emphasized by a yank of my hair, the roots no doubt bleeding from the assault.

Everything comes crashing back with his words.

Craig.Craig is here and attacking me. He chased me into the barn, caught me, and when I tried to fight him off, he hit me repeatedly. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been—both body and mind—but I still wasn’t strong enough to fight off a surprise attack, and I’m even weaker now than I was when he had started. Everything hurts now.

How did the fire start? He hadto have lit it, but how? Why?

“Please.” My voice breaks. I’m willing to beg, if only for the sake of the horses.

Craig only barks a laugh, pulling so roughly on my hair I feel chunks tearing free from my scalp. Tears plummet down my face, but I’m too lost in the frantic need to get the horses out, to get away, to wipe at them. They’re blinding. I can barely see anything through the fog of my tears, but what I can see is desperate horses—horses who trust me and need my help. “Just let me get the horses out. Then I’ll leave, and you can have this place.”

I mean every word. I would give up everything to save them.

I don’t want to lose the ranch, but losing the horses,losing my lifeis too high a price to pay. And Gus…

A sob tears from my throat. Why the fuck did I not tell him I love him? Stupid, stubborn, ill-placed pride. Fear—I’m a coward and now I will die and the only person who has ever truly loved me won’t even know I loved them back.

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