Page 46 of For Fillies and Monsters

I scream into my pillow. I don’t want him in my space. I don’t want to trip over him every time I go downstairs. I don’t want him to know I watch trashy television, make a full dinner at ten p.m. just because I’m a little hungry, wear nothing to bed, or masturbate regularly with his name on my lips.

But I refuse to be more of a disappointment to Dale.

Even still, my fears race like horses on a track—one pulling ahead of the others. What if the stalker hurts Gus because he’s getting closer?

What if I do?

“I’m sorry again for not offering to move you in sooner. Truly, I didn’t realize how hot and dusty it got out here.” I know I’m saying it for the hundredth time in less than twenty minutes, but the guilt is eating me alive. How could he have worked in the brutal Texas heat every day, only to return to this dusty oven every night? I’d have lost my shit if I had to do it even one night.

“I said it’s fine,” he grunts, and I sigh heavily. Would it kill him to be polite?

“Is this everything?” I point toward his clothes, piled on the pink frilly bedspread, and cringe. I should have gotten something more manly on the bed before I moved him in, but I forgot. “Want me to get you a different comforter?”

He shifts, his muscled arms still wrapped suspiciously around a brown box. “It’s fine, really. I don’t mind.”

“Do you ever mind? Anything?” I can’t help the irritation in my voice.He makes me crazy.

“I mind you being nosy about my personal things.”

I quirk my brow and look back at the personal things he’s referring to—a small pile of clothes, a heavy bag that looks to be filled with rodeo gear, a single picture with two adults and two little boys, and that fucking brown box. He catches me eyeing it again and turns slightly.

“What’s in it?”

He growls, stepping past me and slides the mystery box under the bed. “That’s the nosy shit I’m talking about.”

I roll my eyes and place my fists on the curve of my hips. “Well, maybe if you were a little more open with me, I wouldn’t be so worried you might murder me in my sleep and could leave you alone. As it is, I know more about the owner of the feed store—and as pissy as he is to me, he’s still friendlier than you.”

Between clenched teeth, Gus grunts.

“What, have nothing to argue there?” I know I’m pushingthe beast, but my earlier guilt is quickly disappearing. I might just kick him right back out.

“You’ve got an awful smart mouth for someone who doesn’t have a lot of friends.”

“Coming from the man with no friends.”

He nods, his curls bobbing with the motion, but his eyes look anything but understanding. They look hungry, and it sends an unwanted thrill straight to my core.

“So, what—We’re not friends anymore?” His voice is gentle and quiet, but by now, I know it’s all a mask.

“Not when you act like a dick.”

“I can show you a dick if you want. Then you might have something to do with that smart mouth besides bitch and moan.”

I blink rapidly, the implication of his words pelting me in the face like a wall of Texas sand. Did he just…

“Did you really just say that?”

“What? That’s how you and Dale talk. Figured that’s what friends do. Not that I have any experience, as you have so nicely pointed out.”

Fuck, he’s right. I’m being a bitch, and I hate that he brings that out of me. But even if I can acknowledge it, I refuse to admit it to him. He already has too much power over me.

I force a small, weak smile in his direction—more of a grimace—and slap my thighs. “On that note, I’ll leave you and all of your personal things alone. Just how you like it.”

“Thanks,” he states gruffly as I turn around to leave. “Glad to see you can take a hint and be less of a smart ass sometimes.”

I pause, rage replacing irritation. It’s like he sees my buttons as shiny flashing lights and can’t help but push them. And I am incapable of walking away. I’ve always had to have the last word, and today is not the beginning of some sort of fresh start.

“The room is bigger than your last, but don’t you dare bringyour hoes here. I don’t need this room reeking of hooker perfume.”

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