Page 89 of For Fillies and Monsters

McCrae contemplates his answer for several seconds, before he leans forward, brushing his hand through his hair. “I’m the devil, don’t you know. The crusher of dreams, the ruiner of happy memories, the slave driver of forgotten ambitions.” His voice is flat, but the anger underneath is anything but.

Stetson is not impressed or intimidated. And I want to kiss her for it.

“That’s not exactly a job.”

“Isn’t it, though?” McCrae’s eyes narrow. He turns, pinning his frustrated expression on me, and then he continues. “For years, I was a nanny, chauffeur, law enforcer, jail breaker, and daddy. And then poof.” McCrae snaps his fingers, the sound cutting through the growing tension. “I wake up to a note saying my little brother is leaving. He didn’t want to ride wild horses anymore, didn’t want to travel anymore, didn’t want to spend another second withme, anymore.” McCrae punches a finger into his chest at the word‘me’.

Upon reflection, I should have told him to his face. But fuck, McCrae is the only thing in this world that terrifies me. I had to get out, start my path to Stetson, and at the time that seemed like the only way I would be able to do it.

It’s clearly coming back to bite me in the ass—just my luck.

The room is silent save for our mixed breaths, everyone too afraid to set the bomb off, ticking between us. And then McCrae continues, uncaring of the casualties, “So,Stetson, I’ve done some odd jobs here and there to stay alive, but I never stopped doing my first one. It was a life sentence, being this boy’s older brother. And I personally believe the devil deserves to live out his days fulfilling his duties, no matter how painful they may be. The job never stops, even now.”

“McCrae—” My voice is a whisper, and neither of them turns to look at me as Stetson cuts me off.

“Interesting analogy,” Stetson huffs, setting her beer down with a clank. It’s all it takes to set McCrae completely off, and I prepare to jump in front of her, shield her from the evil that will no doubt spew from his lips.

“You know what’s interesting? I devoted my life to helping my brother be the best, pushing him to be the best. And he found some girl and then everything I worked for was just gone.”

“Stetson,” I try again, this time going for the other ticking bomb.

She ignores me again, not sensing how close she is to the danger zone. “Now, I don’t know. It sounds like there’s more to it than that, maybe?—”

“Maybe you don’t know what you’re talking about. And if you did, you might not be so quick to defend.” McCrae spits the words, and I flinch.

That’s enough. I can’t be afraid of him, not when Stetson is on the line. I’m not the weak boy I used to be—Stetson has made me grow into so much more than that.

“That’s enough,” I hiss, my voice louder than before and not the least bit shaky.

“So, he does fucking speak. Does he speak about his little obsession?” McCrae’s eyes never leave Stetson’s reddening face.

You know how they say the world stands still during the worst moments of your life? For me, this is one of those moments. The fuse has been lit, the explosion already detonating around us, and I am helpless to save the one I love from the heat.

Holding my breath, I watch Stetson, no longer caring about stopping McCrae. There’s nothing that could stop him at thispoint, anyway. I can’t prepare her or protect her. I can only hope that she will let me pick up the pieces when this is all over.

Stetson doesn’t respond, the fact only pissing McCrae off more.

If this wasn’t one of those horrible, destructive, pivotal moments, I’d bow at her feet. I’ve never been more in love with her—this woman who does not fear the demons in the dark, facing the only monster I’ve ever been afraid of. Not just facing him, but taking him on.

For me.

I’ve never had anyone protect me; I’ve always been the protector, and something about Stetson standing up for me breaks my heart in the most excruciating and beautiful way.Is this what being loved should feel like?

“Does he speak about how he has beaten people to a pulp, sent them to the hospital, destroyed any chance of them walking or talking again because he can’t control that caged beast inside his chest?”

A growl rips past my lips and I go to move toward Stetson, but she holds up a hand, halting me.

She’s fucking incredible.

“Maybe not in so many words. But I’ve seen the beast there, and it doesn’t scare me.”

I nearly sag to the floor at her words, my blood pounding hot in my veins. I look back at McCrae, his face now split into a feral grin—the one saved for the victims of his retribution and punishment.

“Well, then, you guys are close. How cute. Tell me, does he talk about how he’s had an unhealthy obsession with the same girl for over ten years? Stalking her, controlling her, manipulating her? Even right this second?”

“Get out,” I hiss, my voice quivering now. McCrae stands,never taking his eyes off Stetson’s frozen face, his work here done.

I’ll never understand why he’s doing this. I’ll never understand why he hates me—but I’ve never felt it more clearly than at this moment.

---