Page 3 of Slap Shot

“The restaurant is being sold,” I say in a voice so faint, I’m not sure I’m speaking at all. “Which means I’m out of a job.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Mom opens her arms, and I walk into her embrace, grateful for her hugs even at thirty-three. “Tell me everything.”

Half an hour later, we’re sitting at the dining room table deep in brainstorming mode. My computer is open as I make a list of anywhere and everywhere I can think of that might be hiring, and things are looking bleak.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t pay for Lucy’s education on a minimum-wage salary, but I don’t want to homeschool her or put her in public school. It’s important to me that she’s around other deaf kids who communicate like her, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do that now,” I say.

“What about the child support Clark pays? Where does that money go?” Mom asks. “You could reach out to your lawyer and see if you can negotiate a higher amount now that your income is uncertain.”

“I don’t want to rely on the child support.” I tap my laptop and sigh. “The last thing I want to do is give that man any sort of power over us. I put the money in a separate account, and I haven’t touched a dime of it since he left.”

I’ve never hated anyone in my life, but the disdain I have for Lucy’s father is insurmountable.

We were happy in the years before I got pregnant. Hell, I moved here to be with him. We took trips to the Caribbean and bought a house with a big backyard. We spent every night talking about what our future looked like, and our life was straight out of a fairytale.

When Lucy came into the world, she failed her newborn hearing screening before we left the hospital. She failed her next one, and after a trip to the audiologist, we learned she was deaf.

A month after her diagnosis, Clark left us. He told me he didn’t sign up to raise a child who is “different”. He didn’t want to put in “the work” it would take for her to be happy and taken care of, and the last thing he wouldeverdo is learn sign language.

It’s been the two of us ever since, and she relies on me to give her the life she deserves. Reaching out to the piece of shit who abandoned us when we needed him the most is not demonstrating the strength I try to teach Lucy. No matter how much money he has, I need to come up with another idea.

“How much do you have in savings?” Mom asks, breaking me from my murderous daydreams of what I would say to Clark if I ever saw him again.

“Enough to get through a few months of expenses.” I close my computer and rest my chin in my hand. “I’m going to stop by some restaurants next week to see if I can find anything, but maybe this is the universe telling me something.”

“Telling you what?”

“That I need a fresh start? I’ve been in Vegas for a decade, but I’m not sure this is where I want to plant roots.”

“What do you mean? You have your apartment. Your father and I are here. Lucy goes to school right up the road.”

“Those are all wonderful things, but I moved here for Clark. It’s never really felt like myhome, you know? I could bounce between jobs that might make ends meet, or I could see if there’s something else calling my name. Even if it means moving and starting with a clean slate.”

It would hurt to lose my support system.

My parents moved to Vegas to be closer to me after the divorce, and having them nearby to help with childcare has been the only way I’ve kept my head above water.

But deep down, my heart tells me I need to put myself first. I need to take a step out of my comfort zone, and that could mean leaving this city—and its ghosts—behind.

“Dad and I will always support you, Madeline,” Mom says, and that makes me want to cry.

I set my mug down and reach across the table so I can take her hand in mine. “I know.”

Light footsteps and a soft giggle break our moment. Lucy comes barreling into the kitchen. She’s my mini-me, a smaller version of myself I’d do anything to protect.

Mommy!she signs, and I reach for her. She runs into my arms and I scoop her up, holding her close to my chest.You’re here!

This will always be my favorite place in the world: with Lucy in my lap, grateful for every second I get with her.

Hi. I kiss the top of her head.Have you had fun with Grams and Gramps this afternoon?

We watched a video on parakeets. Can we get a parakeet?

I glance at my mom, and she gives me a guilty smile.

She was very excited about the birds.You know how hard it is to tell her no, my mom signs, and I laugh.

Yeah. I hold Lucy tighter. I’d give her anything she ever wanted.I do.

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