Page 101 of Until We Meet Again

That's the first time I've said those words out loud. I thought they would terrify me, but I find myself smiling and needing to say them again.

"God, I love her so much."

Then what the hell are you doing here? Go and fight for your happiness. Live Zane. You have to live.

"Not yet. I'm not ready to leave you yet. There's so much to tell you, Kim. I want to tell you about Callum and Zoe, and I want to tell you about my job. I need to tell you everything about Tessa because I know you would've loved her."

Hey, I sent her to you, so I already love her.

"I want to tell you that I miss you. I sometimes feel like I can't breathe because I miss you so much, and I don't know how to be okay without you here." A lump forms in my throat, and I struggle to control my emotions. "I hate that you're gone. I'm so angry, Kim. You deserved better than this."

I'm never gone, Zane. I know you can feel me in your heart. Keep me there, and I'll be with you every step of the way.

"After you left, nothing made sense anymore. I felt nothing. Until you sent me the girl who made me feel everything."

As I gaze up at the sky, I feel a sudden shift in the air—a gentle breeze that carries a sense of calm. As if on cue, my mind clears, and all my thoughts fall into place, helping me to picture my future with complete clarity.

"I'm done wasting time, Kim," I whisper. "I'm going to live for both of us now, and I swear I'll make you proud of me." Loving Tessa is the only thing that makes sense to me now. It's the only thing that makes me feel truly alive. For too long, I've been lost in a sea of confusion, denial, and pain, but she brought me back to the surface. "I'm sorry I've been such a dick." My voice cracks with emotion, as well as laughter. "I'm going to hold onto her with everything I have."

I say goodbye, promising my sister that I'll come home more often. I know that by staying away, I've been running from the memories that plague me, but as I walk away from Kimberley, I realize that I'm done running and that I'm going to try and embrace the love of the family that I've been blessed with.

I want to get back to Tessa. I'm desperate to have her back in my arms, but I also know I need to take some time, clear my mind, and return to Chicago as a better man who deserves her. Besides, I need to spend some quality time with my parents, and while I'm here, I need to visit my brother and his fiancée, Zoe. She was his rock and a place of peace when he was going through the most challenging time of his life, and I need to thank her for that, learn more about their wedding, and ask if I can bring a plus one. There's a lot to do, and I know I need to prioritize and make time for the people who matter most, so I'll take a deep breath and dive headfirst into the chaos.

The moment I figure out the words to say to Tessa and have a plan to win her heart back, I'll be on the first flight back to Chicago. I'll show her that I'm the right man for her and prove that my love for her is stronger than anything else.

I'm hers and will forever be hers.

Chapter 46

Tessa

The day of my graduation came and went, and just like Christmas, the buildup was exciting, but when it was over, it felt anticlimactic.

After the ceremony, my parents and I went to a small Italian restaurant with Jen and her mom to celebrate.

Jen and I left soon after, allowing them to enjoy the rest of the night while we spent the rest of ours at the guys' place. The day had been almost perfect, but my mind wasn't entirely in the moment.

Not when I was standing on that stage, not when I was eating with my family, and not when I was drinking shots of tequila with Tobias as he tried to pull my heartbroken head out of my ass.

Zane never wanted to take any part of that day away from me. He stayed away for my sake, but he must've known he'd be at the forefront of my mind, especially after the message he left me.

Even now, I miss him.

I wonder if he can feel me when I think about him.

It's been a month since I last heard his voice and even longer since I saw his face, but no matter what I do, my feelings for him never change. The pain is more bearable, but the crack in my heart is still as deep.

My dumb ass knew he couldn't feel for me what I do for him, and yet my dumb ass went and fell in love with him anyway.

I decided a long time ago to stay in Chicago with Jen in our little home that we both love so much, in a city I couldn't imagine leaving. We're happy here, and this is my home now, a home I also share with Harry too.

Erik returned home with his family. I know he's in negotiations with a football team in Phoenix that has a semi-pro squad, and based on what he's told me, I think he's going to sign. Tobias is being forced to move into an apartment with his stepsister in the next few weeks, per his father's orders. Apparently, she's been accepted into a prestigious dance academy in the city, and he's expected to babysit her, as he describes it. However, he walked right into the job of his dreams here in Chicago after graduation, so I'm not sure what he's complaining about, especially since his father covers his rent. Though I doubt he'd be too happy that his son is pursuing a career as a tattoo artist rather than taking over the family business, which requires him to wear a suit all day and deal with numbers and figures.

Since Harry couldn't afford to keep the house on his own, he and Jen agreed to try living together; the option for him to move back to Miami was immediately ruled out, and when Jen asked me how I felt about Harry moving in with us, I said yes right away. Most nights, I sleep with headphones in so I don't have to hear what it means to have someone in your bed night after night, but the three of us living together works really well.

The only downside is living in a place where I'll possibly run into Zane, and the idea of that fills me with anxiety.

Now that I'm no longer in school, we could've openly been together, but it doesn't change the underlying issue we have—he doesn't love me.

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