Page 106 of Until We Meet Again

I nod as he releases my hand, but the warmth of his touch lingers on my skin, burning like the flame he's ignited in my heart.

"I've never wanted the life most people dream of, Tessa," he says, his eyes drifting away from me momentarily. "The whole marriage, kids, and love thing never appealed to me. I have great parents who have been a perfect example of what that life looks like, but it's never been who I am."

"That's why you always said you wouldn't be the guy to fall in love."

He shakes his head at me, his eyes reflecting deep pain. Taking another sip from his drink, he sighs and speaks softly. "It’s not just that. It’s only part of the reason." He takes another long sip before continuing. "The day I found out that I was losing Kimberley was the start of my heart breaking, and the day sheclosed her eyes for the last time, I knew I would always be a broken man." I feel a lump form in my throat as I try to imagine how he must have felt. "I was by her side, holding her hand as she passed, and the pain I felt was unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and the idea of loving someone so much only to lose them again cripples me with fear."

"I'm so sorry, Zane." I need to reach out and touch him to offer him some comfort. But I'm not sure if either of us would benefit from it right now.

As his gaze meets mine, a warm smile spreads across his face, and I can feel the undeniable connection between us. "I moved here for a fresh start. I needed to get away from everything that reminded me of Kim. I just wanted to go to work, hit the gym, and live my life in solitude without having to deal with the scars that have been left on me."

"Sounds pretty lonely."

"I didn't feel lonely," he says, shaking his head and looking down at the empty glass in his hand. When his eyes lift, they're full of emotion, and my heart starts beating a little faster for him. "I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. I'd managed to close myself off from connecting with people on a deeper level," he confesses, his gaze fixed on mine. "Until you," he whispers. "We were thrown together from every angle, and no matter what we did, we couldn't keep away from each other."

"Do you ever wish we could've stopped things from progressing after the first day you walked into that classroom?"

"No. Never."

"I do."

My heart is pounding as tears threaten to fall from my eyes. "You don’t mean that, Tessa. I know you don’t," he says desperately, and I can see the pain in his eyes. "You’re hurt, and I’m so fucking sorry that I ever left you in that bed alone the last time I touched you. I’m sorry I didn’t take you into my arms theday I saw you in the library." He rubs his hand over his face, trying to hide his vulnerability as much as he’s showing it. "I was broken, Tessa, and I didn’t think I could ever heal what was shattered inside me, but that all changed the day I met you. You brought me back to life, and I don’t think you understand how beautiful you make my world just by existing in it." I’ve been trying to move on from him, and now he’s here pouring his heart out to me, and it’s all too much. "I should’ve told you that you’re everything I dream about, you’re everything I think about, and god, I hate that I’m about to do this without being able to hold you, but I love you, Tessa. I'm so in love with you."

"You can’t say these things to me," I say, shaking my head in frustration. I didn’t need to look into his eyes to know how head over heels in love with him I am, but I'm also terrified. I'm scared to let him in, but even more scared of him running away again. "What do you want from me, Zane?" I plead, my voice trembling.

"I just want you. I want us. I want Sunday mornings where I can read to you while I play with your hair. I want to wake up in the middle of the night with you in my arms before I worship your body like the goddess you are. I want fifty years from now where we're sitting on the front porch of the home we built together with a bunch of grandkids running around us." A tear slips from my eye as my lip quivers, and he leans in to wipe it away with his thumb. "I want to build a life with the woman I'm fucking crazy about."

"You scare me, Zane."My raw truth."I can't live my life expecting you to flip out and run away from me. I can't do it and won't put myself through it."

"Never going to happen."

"You can't promise me that."

"I can, but you don't trust me to love you, do you?"

"Can you blame me?"

"No, I get it," he answers with nothing but sincerity. "But I'll do whatever it takes to show you that I'm here for as long as you want me, but I really hope it's forever." His words gnaw at my heart, and a pang of longing runs through me. I want to open my heart to him. I want to let him in completely and trust him not to hurt me again, but I need a little time, and he needs a little punishment. He takes my hand in his, refusing to let me go. "You feel it, don't you?" he asks, his eyes filled with hunger. "This pull, this love—it's there. I know you feel it, Tessa."

I can only nod as I watch the relief that swallows him. It's more than just relief, though; it's an insatiable desire, an ache for me that mirrors my own need for him.

"Every time I kissed you, every time I was inside you, you had my heart. I just didn’t know it." He brushes his thumb over my knuckles and stares down at where we’re touching. "And as much as I want to fuck all of this away until you remember you’re mine, I won’t. I know we lose ourselves in each other, and I don’t want you to be confused."

And my panties are damp.

"I need some time to think, Zane."

"I know, sweetheart. I wasn't expecting you to fall back into me. I know I hurt you. I know it's going to take time." I nod, knowing that I accused him of running when he was scared, and yet here I am, doing the same thing.

"I need to go home. I need to think. Do you mind?"

"Of course I don't mind. Can I take you?"

"You don't have to. I can ask Jen or Harry."

"I only had one drink," he reassures me, but that’s the last thing on my mind.

I trust him to always keep me safe. I know he'd never put me at risk.

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