Page 75 of Until We Meet Again

When Zane's name appears on the screen, my stomach tightens. I know this isn't going to be an easy conversation, and I already know he's going to be pissed with how I'm acting right now.

I've ghosted him all weekend, which I know deep down isn't fair, and I'd be losing my shit if he'd done the same thing to me.

I take a moment to breathe while raising the phone to my ear, thinking about different ways to answer.

"Hello."Original.

"Jesus Christ, Tessa, where the hell have you been? I've been going out of my damn mind." I can hear the panic in his voice, and I now feel like the world's biggest asshole.

"Sorry, I haven't been feeling well."

"What's wrong? You sound fine."

He knows I'm talking out of my ass. I can hear it.

"Cramps."

"Don't lie to me, Tessa. We're beyond that." I exhale, and he adds, "Do you realize how difficult it's been for me not knowing if you're okay and having no way of finding out?"

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to give you some space while your brother was here."

"So, what's your excuse for not attending class today?"

"I don't know. I don't have one."

After a brief moment of silence, I hear him take a deep breath. His voice sounds tender as he pleads, "Please talk to me, sweetheart."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you won't like what I have to say."

"Try me."

I inhale deeply, finding the strength to get up from my slumped state. My legs protest, having grown stiff from hours of lazing around in my bed. As I start pacing the room, my stomach is churning, and I have a feeling this conversation is only going to end one way.

Give him your raw truth.

"I know you were upfront about what you could offer me from whatever this is with us, but I'm finding it too difficult not to allow my feelings for you to get any stronger."Just breathe. "And all I am is your dirty little secret, and yeah, it was exciting at first, but it's making me reckless because you make me feel out of control of my emotions."

"You are not my dirty little secret, Tessa. Never label yourself like that to me again because that is so far from the truth."

"Then what am I?" My words come out shakier than I'd like, and my stomach is about to fall out of my ass. I'm terrified about what he'll say, and while I wait, silence falls between us, but the absence of a reply screams volumes, echoing louder than any words ever could. "You'd be better off with someone like Professor Liu. You're more suited and can be open with someone like her. You wouldn't have to hide her away."

"Don’t do that," he states firmly.

"You know she wants you, Zane."

"If that's true, it's completely one-sided, and I know you know that."

"Do you know how it feels to always be the one walking away from you as if I'm not the one who sleeps in your bed? I get why it has to be this way, but I fucking hate it."

"Do you think I don’t?" I can hear him growing frustrated, but so am I. "Damn it, I want to walk down the street with you, holding your hand. I want to take you out, kiss you over the table, and tell you that I… tell you that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, both inside and out." I hear him take a nervous breath as he pauses. "I want you, Tessa, and I want what we have."

Nothing more.

His words reach my ears, and a lump forms in my throat, threatening to choke me. I feel the sting, but I swallow it down.

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