Page 76 of Until We Meet Again

"I think I just need to take a step back."

"From me?"

"From everything."

"Fuck, Tessa… Okay, look, if you need space, I’ll give it to you. I won’t pressure you, but I need you to know that losing you isn’t an option for me."

Neither is keeping me.

"Of course it isn't an option for you. You get all the perks with no commitment." My heart is racing like it's about to burst outof my chest, and I swear I can hear the pounding echoing in my ears.

"That's not true. I'm as committed as I can be to you, Tessa."

It's not enough.

"I won’t be in class this week. I’m going to study from home, but maybe we can talk this weekend."

"Listen, I agreed to go to this post-work drink with a few teachers on Friday night, but I can cancel."

With Nancy Liu, the beautiful and intelligent teacher who I'm certain wants my guy.

"It's fine. You should go, and I'll see you on Saturday or Sunday if you're free."

"Tessa."

"It's okay, I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"I'll try to understand why you don't want to see me right now and give you some time, but I need you to at least check in with me, whether it's a message, a phone call, or whatever."

"I can do that."

"Okay. I'll speak to you soon, sweetheart."

The week passes by so agonizingly slowly that I feel like I'm trapped in some time loop bullshit. It's as if the universe is purposefully stretching out my days in order to watch me suffer and laugh at my expense. Even though Zane and I have messaged, it's been minimal, and I haven't had the opportunity to talk with him on the phone. Or maybe I've just been avoiding it. I know I'm the one who wanted this space, but I miss him so damn much, and this feeling is why I need to guard my heart andpull it back into my chest rather than give it to a man who will only shatter it.

I wish he were the safe place I could rest my heart.

But maybe Zane is a lesson, not a love.

I'm lying in bed, listening to Taylor Swift on repeat while dressed as a hobo, and not giving a damn about it. I'm rocking a pair of mismatched fluffy red and purple socks paired with some cute little shorts and a loose-fitting T-shirt. My hair is jammed on top of my head in a messy bun, looking like some kind of creature has taken up residence. I open my book—a new one about a cocky CEO who falls for an artist he meets during a business trip. The CEO is tall, dark, and undeniably attractive—obviously. I'm trying to lose myself in the pages, but my mind is spiraling. This obsession with Zane is all-consuming, and the last thing I want to do tonight is sit in my room thinking about him and what he's doing.

I force myself out of bed, carefully placing my book next to me, and make my way to Jen's room, knocking three slow taps followed by two fast ones.

"Come in, Blondie."

"Okay, don't call me that." I chuckle as I step into her room. She glances up from her laptop, smiling up at me before she sets it down on her black nightstand—a perfect match for the rest of the dark and moody decor in her bedroom.

"What's up? You don't look okay."

"I'm not."

"You got Zanefluenza?"

"Something like that—can we get out of here tonight?"

"Sure, what do you want to do?"

"Something that involves alcohol."

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