Page 90 of Until We Meet Again

"Because it hurts. Loving you fucking hurts."

I can see the impact my words have on him as his eyes widen in response to my honesty. It kills me to know that I might be hurting him, but I know that if I don't speak my truth and let out all my feelings, even the buried ones, I won't be able to leave tonight knowing I hadn't expressed everything I felt. I could pretend that none of this is affecting me, but the truth is, it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest and crushed under a six-inch stiletto, and I won't hide that from him.

"You'd rather hate me?"

"Honestly? Yes."

As I look into his eyes, I see the turmoil within him. His brows furrow, and his lips press tightly together. Suddenly, he takes a deep breath and holds my face in his hands once again. The warmth of his palms penetrates my skin as he gently caresses my cheeks. For a split second, we lock eyes, leaving me feeling as though nothing in this world could tear me apart from him.

"There's no hope for me, and if love is what you want, then this ends now."

I nod to show him I understand what he's doing. I know he's doing this for me, and even though it feels like he's squeezing my heart in his hands, I know the man in front of me cares.

"You'll have to stay here tonight, but I need you to go to bed, Tessa. I'm barely holding on here, okay?"

"Where can I sleep?" My voice cracks with emotion as he runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head at me. I see it in his eyes—the pain and disbelief. He can't believe this is happening—that this is what it's come to, and it's all because Iwent and fell in love with the guy who found his way into my heart even if he never wanted to be there.

"My bed. I'll take the guest room."

"I can take the gue—"

"No, Tessa. My bed." He inches closer, his warm breath brushing against my lips. "When you're gone, I want my sheets to smell like you because I already know you're never coming back to me."

I tentatively reach up and place my hands on his face. For a moment, his eyelids flutter shut, and I feel him relax into my touch. "Kiss me," I whisper, my voice barely above a breath. His eyes snap open, and he backs away from me in two small steps, shaking his head, rejecting me, denying me, and making me feel weaker than I've ever felt before. "Please, Zane," I plead, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath. When he turns his face away from me and stares at the floor, I know it's done.

I needed that rejection from him.

I needed him to deny me one last time.

I barely make it to his room before a river of pain spills from my eyes. I can feel the heavy weight of my shattered heart pressing down on me, making it nearly impossible to breathe, and as tears stream down my cheeks, my silent sobs wrack my body.

You'd rather hate me?

As my tears soak his pillow, I bring his sheets up to my face, inhaling his scent for the last time.

I don't know how long I've been asleep, but I wake up to Zane's strong body pressed against my back, his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer, and I don't stop him.

As he pulls me in further, I feel consumed by him, as if he's trying to fuse his soul with mine in a desperate attempt to keep me close.

I turn in his arms, and the soft glimmer of the moonlight outlines the curve of his lips. We say nothing, but the air between us crackles with an unspoken and shared hunger. I lean in, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest, and slowly brush my lips over his. I half expect him to pull away, but he doesn't. Instead, he kisses me back with fervor, his lips moving in sync with mine. The kiss becomes deeper, yet the pace between us remains the same. It's longing and desperate, as if this kiss is our last, and we're both holding on for one final time.

"Touch me." I plead with him once more as I lie here aching for him.

"I can't lose myself in you, Tessa, not when I can't keep you."

I undo the clasp on my bra, removing it and dropping it to the floor. I notice his sharp intake of breath as my pebbled nipples brush against his firm chest. "I need you. I need to feel something. I need to know that you feelsomething."

"Feel something? You fucking consume me. I feel everything."

He shatters at that very moment, forcefully plunging his tongue back into my mouth. However, his kiss now carries the weight of desperation as his lips crush mine savagely. I know he doesn't want it to be this way, but it has to be.

Zane tosses the blankets on the floor and climbs above me, his heated gaze raking over my breasts as if he's memorizing every little thing about them and locking them inside his memory. He slowly lowers his mouth, wrapping a nipple with his lips, sucking lightly, and tracing circles around it with his tongue.

With each smooth swipe, the ache between my thighs grows stronger, pushing a whimper to leave my lips. "Zane, please." I gasp, my body begging for more of him, craving everything, yet it never feels like enough because nothing satisfies my hunger for him.

Kissing his way down my body, he pays close attention to my belly ring, teasing it with his tongue before finding his rightful place between my thighs. He leans forward and inhales deeply until he can't resist me any longer. His tongue sweeps over my swollen clit, lavishly lapping at me. My body trembles as he ignites every nerve in my body, but with every surge of pleasure, a piercing ache of sadness follows, a constant reminder of the heartbreak that's laced in every single touch.

He opens my legs wider, firmly pinning my thighs down against the bed. As his tongue coaxes my body higher, bringing me closer to the edge, I weave my fingers through his dark hair, tugging gently. I try to fight against his strong grip, attempting to lift my hips as every inch of my body tightens. But he pulls away too soon, leaving me crying out for him.

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