Page 96 of Until We Meet Again

"How can you say that?" I don't want to hurt him, but I can't stop my lips from moving as this inferno that's tearing me apart from the inside out is unleashed on him.

"Because if we were anything, you'd know better than to assume I'm the kind of girl who would fuck around while my heart is in pieces."

He lets out a long breath and wearily rubs his eyes with his hands. "Jesus, you're right. I shouldn't have said that to you."Emotion starts to overwhelm me as he softens, and I blink to stop any angry tears from falling. "I get why you're being hostile. I understand you're protecting yourself from me, but I won't do this with you. I'm not going to fight with you. I can't."

"Well, maybe I want to fight with you, Zane. Maybe I want to tell you that your whole view on love and relationships is crap," I say, my voice shaking slightly, "and that your whole self-sabotage and desperation to be unhappy come from a place that you aren't willing to share with me." He tightens his jaw as I continue. "If I'm not that girl, the one you can open up to and who makes you feel like you want to share everything with, then fine. But you need to talk to someone because the next girl you meet will deserve better." I can see the turmoil in his eyes, but I refuse to back down.

"Tessa, you don't know what I've gone through."

"Of course I don't. You never trusted me enough to tell me." As soon as the words leave my lips, I can see their impact on him. "The saddest part is that I believe you feel something, yet you let me go like I was nothing. You would rather lose me than love me, and that fucking hurts."

He starts to pace back and forth in front of me. His hands glide through his dark hair, frustration and regret etched on his face. "God, Tessa, I never asked you to fall in love with me. I told you from the start that I couldn't be that guy." My throat tightens. I try to swallow away his words, but they refuse to go down.

Let him go. He threw you away.

"You're right. I should've stopped this before I got too deeply involved. That's on me." I nod, unable to look at him. My eyes remain down, fixating on my now-trembling hands, twisting the rings on my fingers as I try to hide what this is truly doing to me. "I should've stopped it before you ever made love to me because I can't be that girl, the one who fucks without feeling. Perhaps sharing my body with you did more for me than I ever thoughtit would, more than I ever wanted it to, and more than what it obviously did for you."

He speaks through gritted teeth. "Don't you fucking dare do that." My words hurt him—good,because I feel like I'm dying inside. "That day meant everything to me, Tessa. Fucking everything."

"If I could take it back, I would." The tears I'm shedding for him right now aren't the ones that fall from your eyes and cover your face. They're the ones that fall from the depths of your heart and cover your soul.

"You don't mean that."

"I do, actually. I wish it hadn't been you."

My heart starts to race as he gets closer to me. As soon as I said it, I realized I'd pushed him too far. "You wanna hurt me? Go ahead. I probably deserve it." With his hands on either side of my face, I'm pinned to the door, unable to move. "But don't ever say that to me again." We stare at each other for an eternity before he continues. "What you gave me—your body, your innocence—will never leave me." He backs away slowly, his demeanor softening with each long second that passes.

"I don't have enough energy for this, Zane. I can't move on if I have to keep seeing you. Can you understand that?"

"I get it. I'm sorry." The way he looks at me, so genuinely, so full of regret and despair, makes me want to pick something up and throw it at him—a desk, a chair, myself.

The air in the room feels thick, suffocating almost. I know I can't stay here any longer, not with the way he's looking at me. I slowly turn to leave, trying to reach for the door handle, when I suddenly feel his chest press up against my back. My eyes are glued to the large wooden door in front of me, and I count the ripples in the wood—anything to avoid thinking about his close proximity and its effect on my body, specifically the place that has only ever belonged to him.

As he gets closer, I allow his body heat to penetrate my skin. His hot breath brushes my neck, making my entire body shudder. It's like he's breathing life back into me, but I know this feeling will fade. Every inch of me is vividly aware of him, and I hate it as much as I miss it.

"I know you're scared of how I make you feel because you don't want to feel anything, but right now, you're making me feel everything, and I need you to let me go, Zane."

He gently presses his lips against my hair before he backs away. I don't dare turn around. Instead, I run out of the room, searching for the air that had escaped my lungs when he was so close to me.

I need a minute.

I need a goddamn month.

Swallowing everything I'm feeling, I return to the library. I see Tobias still sitting there. Pulling my shit together, I sit down with him, trying to act as casually as I can. However, Zane wasn't subtle, and Tobias isn't stupid.

"You good?"

"Yeah. Where were we?"

"You were just about to give my ego a huge boost by telling me that this"—he points his finger between us—"only can't happen because there's someone else and not because you don't find me attractive." As our eyes lock, he runs his hand across his chiseled jaw and chuckles under his breath. "You've surprised me, Blondie. I didn't think you had it in you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, don't treat me like an idiot. Whatever that was between you and Calloway felt like fucking foreplay. Hell, I think I even got hard from it." I sit here speechless, my mouth falling open in disbelief. I can feel the sweat start to break out across my body, but Tobias doesn't seem to notice or care about howuncomfortable I am. Instead, he gives me a proud nod and smirks at me. "Little Miss Innocent fucking a teacher."

"I swear to God, I will punch you in the throat if you don't keep your voice down."

"No one's around. Besides, you know you can trust me." I look at him dubiously, and he laughs, taking my hand in his. "Does it sting a little that you're picking someone else, a teacher, over me? Fuck yes. But you think you're the first to do something like this?" He shakes his head and laughs as if recalling a vivid memory.

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