Page 98 of Until We Meet Again

When I return to the living room, Jen is sharing her plans for the night with my parents. They’ve asked to take me for a celebratory meal, which I’m happy to do because I’m not saying no to free food, and then they’re spending the night at a hotel. However, Erik has invited us to attend a post-graduation party tonight at their place. Tobias was adamant that we were going, and there was no chance that Harry and Jen would miss out on spending such an important day together.

"Are Saffy and Beth okay?" I ask about my sisters, knowing that Saffy had a dance recital. Beth is still studying, so they couldn't come today.

"They're good. They said to say good luck and that they're very proud of their biggest sister."

"Where's your mom, Jen?" my dad asks her.

"She's going to meet us there."

"Of course, I forgot you grew up here." I listen to my mom as she sips on her tea like she's vying for the title of the next queen of England. "She must feel so lucky to have you close by."

"We really should get going before there are no seats left," I interrupt, feeling a little anxious flutter in my stomach.

"Come on, ladies; I’ll drive us." Dad jumps up from the couch and offers a hand to my mom, who, after placing her cup down, accepts it, looking up at my father with nothing but love. Jen and I start to follow as we all make our way to the front door.

"Hold up, I forgot my phone. I’ll meet you at the car." I hurriedly return to my room, grab my phone, and notice I have one new voicemail. I hesitate for a second before opening it and freeze in place when I see Zane’s name.

My eyes are glued to my phone screen. Part of me—a guarded part—wants to ignore or delete it, to pretend to myself that I don't want to know what he could possibly need to say to me. But the other part of me wins—the side that takes some twisted pleasure from self-inflicted pain. I lift my phone to my ear and hit play. As soon as his voice reaches me, my eyes instinctively close, and I feel a crushing ache in my chest. It feels like a thousand knives are tearing their way through what's left of my heart. However, I don't cut it off. I keep listening to that voice that I don't think I'll ever forget.

Hey, sweetheart, I hope you're okay. What am I even saying? Of course you are. You're graduating. I know how much this day means to you, Tessa. I know that this is everything you've been working toward. I don't know if you'll hear this before you get up there and do this today; I don't know if you'll listen to it at all. For all I know, you could've blocked me, but I just want to tell you that I'm so damn proud of you, and when you walk up there, I want you to know that you deserve everything good in this world. I won't be there today; I decided to stay away so that you could concentrate on yourself and your family, so please don'tworry about possibly seeing me because the last thing I would ever do is taint this day for you. I hope you get everything you want, Tessa. You deserve the world, the moon, the fucking stars, and anything you want in life is there for you to take.

Everything but him.

As he utters a single, lonely sounding "Bye" and ends his message, I clutch my phone to my chest, on the verge of breaking down right where I stand.

He won't be there.

Stepping out of the house, I lock up behind me and breathe deeply, gathering whatever inner strength I can find. Despite feeling a little less put together than before, I make my way toward my dad's Hyundai. Sliding into the backseat next to Jen, I force a smile on my face, but I know she can see straight through me.

He's staying away for me.

She silently mouths to me, checking if I'm alright. I respond with a nod, and she grips my hand, holding onto me tightly during the whole car ride to the ceremony.

Being a Walsh with a last name at the end of the alphabet is a blessing in disguise, as I easily find my seat amongst the sea of white chairs. I find myself sitting between two people that I don’t know, but relief hits me when Erik sits down in the seat in front of me. I reach out and rest my hand on his shoulder, and he turns to me with that beautiful smile that always puts me at ease.

Row upon row of chairs surround me, filled with students and their families, and when I finally spot mine in the crowd, they give me a little wave of encouragement. Just then, Dean Flack begins his speech, and I turn my attention back to the front.

I patiently wait for my name to be called out, watching all my friends go ahead of me, feeling nothing but pride. However, the longer I wait, the more my stomach begins to knot as nerves swirl inside me. Finally, I'm called, and as I climb the stairs andapproach the podium, I'm hit with an onslaught of emotions. This moment feels so surreal. I’ve been working my ass off for it for so long, and here I am, standing in front of hundreds of people while I receive my diploma.

I gaze out into the crowd and see my parents smiling proudly, but the one face I wish was here isn't, and even though it's probably better this way, I can't help but miss him on one of the biggest days of my life.

Chapter 44

Zane

"Tessa Angelina Walsh"

Angel… of course it is.

The sound of enthusiastic cheers and applause fills my ears when the dean calls out Tessa's name. My heart swells with pride as I watch her climb the stage, her long blonde hair cascading down her back beneath a blue cap, and the sight of her almost has me on my damn knees. This constant pain in my chest hasn't left since I carelessly allowed her to walk out of my life. But seeing her here and knowing she's so far out of my reach makes my heart ache in ways I never knew existed.

I told her I wouldn't be here today, but deep down, I always knew I'd never miss it. All I wanted was for her to enjoy her day and to focus solely on herself and everything that she's achieved, not on the pain that I've caused her.

I've kept myself hidden, remaining entirely out of sight while I watch her. I can'ttake my eyes off her.My girl, the girl with the smile that steals your breath away—it's been too long sinceI've seen that smile. Regret consumes me, and every part of me wishes I'd done things differently.

As I look at her closer, I see a deep sadness hiding behind those beautiful green eyes, but it also feels like she's searching for something. Or someone.

I'm right here, sweetheart.

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