Page 107 of After All This Time

"Keep it," he'd said later, standing awkwardly in my bedroom doorway. "To remember." Like I could ever forget the way my world had cracked wide open. As if I needed a physical reminder of the day we put my father in the ground.

But I kept it.

That rose is still pressed between the pages of my father's last gift to me—a biography of Anna Pavlova, the prima ballerina who danced like she had wings. I haven't opened that book since I slid the flower between its pages, too afraid of what memories might spill out. Sometimes, I wonder if it's still white or if it's faded over time.

Looking at Tobias now, at the rose forever etched into his skin, I realize he understood something I couldn't back then. Some memories are worth keeping, even the ones that hurt.

Tobias looks like something that's almost too beautiful to touch, but god, I don't want to stop touching him.

I glide my fingers across his abs before trailing them upward over his chest. One side is dominated by the lion tattoo, its mane sprawling across his shoulder, while the other is softened by the rose—a perfect contradiction. The lion exudes power and strength, while the rose represents something calmer. Together, they’re chaos and control—wild but perfectly balanced, just like him.

I'm addicted to the way his skin feels under my fingertips, drunk on the fact that I'm allowed to touch him like this.

My eyes drift to the piercings in his nipples, and the temptation is too much. When my mouth finds the first barbell, I flick my tongue against the cool metal until his breath catches. I can't help but chase that reaction, moving to his other nipple, tugging the piercing with my teeth, just to hear him make that sound again.

His hand slides into my hair—not gentle, not rough, just present. "Morning, Firefly."

"Morning," I murmur against his skin, finally giving in to the urge to run my tongue along his jaw before pressing a kiss to his lips as if it's the most natural thing in the world for me to do.

Like this is just another morning, just another kiss.

But because my brain hates me, I'm hit with a flash of insecurity. What if he doesn't want this? What if I'm overstepping? His eyes open and lock onto mine, reading me like he always does.

"Don't get in your head."

His voice is soft but leaves no room for argument as his hand cups my jaw, tilting my face so I can't look away. His thumb brushes my cheek, and he tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear, his sleepy smile doing dangerous things to my heart.

"If you need to talkabout this, we'll talk. If you don't, then we won't. But don't get lost in here." He taps my temple gently, his touch grounding. "We've never hidden from each other, so if you need to talk, you talk to me."

"Is this as confusing for you as it is for me?" I whisper, hating how vulnerable I sound.

"Hell yeah," he says, and then he laughs. "But it doesn't feel like I'm doing anything wrong by wanting you."

"Oh god, you really are a smooth bastard." I bury my face in his chest, and his fingers find my hair, working magic against my scalp. "I've seen it before, but I've never been on the receiving end of it."

"That's my fucking error."

"Okay, that's it. I need to move." I wrench myself away, forcing myself to sit up before I get lost in him completely. "I need to go, or I'm definitely getting fired."

"What time are you home later?" he asks as I throw the sheet off me and swing my legs over the side of the bed.

"I've got a full day today, so sometime after six."

"Shall I grab us takeout?" His eyes roam over me like he wishes I wasn't about to climb out of his bed. "We can sit and have the conversation you don't want to have but know we probably need to."

"Yeah. Okay."

"It'll all be okay, Mills, I promise." He leans forward, pressing a kiss to the top of my head before letting me go.

I stand, wrapping the sheet around my almost-naked body as I head for the door. Behind me, Tobias laughs—a low, rumbling sound that makes me turn back. He's propped up on one elbow, his hair a perfect mess, eyes dancing with amusement.

"What?" I say, tightening the sheet around me.

"What are you doing?" His grin widens.

"I'm just in my panties," I explain, stepping back towards the door as if he hasn't already seen my entire body.

"You were very naked last night." His voice is teasing, full of mischief, and I can't help but laugh, backing away faster.