A groan escapes my lips as my blood turns to fire, but I immediately cover it with an exaggerated sigh, pretending it's all about the pizza.
"Get your face out of it and grab a couple of plates." He waits, patient as ever, while I choose my slices.
My legs find their place on the couch, stretched out in front of me, and for a moment, everything feels normal.
"How'd it go today?"
My smile breaks free before I can stop it. "Tiring, but god, Tobias. It was everything I always thought it would be." I let out a breath, still riding the high of the day. "Honestly, I loved it."
"Good," he says, nodding like he'd expected nothing less. "I'm glad you had fun."
"Actually—" I sit up straighter, my pizza momentarily forgotten. "They're letting apprentices audition for the upcoming tour."
His slice stops halfway to his mouth. "The national tour?"
"Yeah." The words tumble out in a rush. "Remember when I explained my role there? How they don't take apprentices on tour? You usually have to wait until the second year at the earliest?" My hands are moving now, pizza grease probably flying everywhere. "Well, Logantold metheyask apprentices to audition. If we're good enough, we get to go."
"That's amazing. Areyougonna go for it?"
"If I get on it, then it's a step toward my dream. I justreallywanna be on that stage."
He really looks at me, and I see itstraight away—the thing he's trying to hide. I know Tobias. I know he'd rather cut out his own heart before caging me. But watching me chase my dreams means watching me walk away.
"So were people nice to you, new girl?"
"I spent most of the day with Logan."
"I still can't picture that guy twirling around in tights," Tobias mutters, smirking as he stretches his arm across the back of the couch, his fingers just barely grazing my shoulder.
The TV hums in the background, but it might as well be static for all the good it's doing to quiet my thoughts. I shovel pizza into my mouth like it's my last meal, each bite buying me seconds before the conversation I know is coming.
When I catch sight of his empty plate, my stomach knots. I grab our dishes and escape to the kitchen, where ceramic meets sink with a clash that echoes through the apartment. Igrip the counter's edge, letting the cool surface ground me while my heart does its best to crawl up my throat.
Being intimate with him was easy. Our bodies knew what to do, how to move, and where to touch. But feelings? Talking about what this means? That's a different beast entirely.
I force myself back to the living room, but I can't sit close to him. Not when his presence fills every inch of space, making it hard to think and even harder to breathe. So I retreat to the far end of the couch, pulling my knees to my chest in some futile attempt at building a wall between us.
But Tobias has never been one to let me hide. His eyes find mine, crystal blues that see too much and demand everything.
"You done running from me, Firefly?"
"I think so," I manage, my voice barely above a whisper.
He mutes the TV and turns to face me fully, propping an elbow on the back of the couch and resting his head in his hand.
"It's me, Mills. It's us. We can talk about this."
"This isn't like talking about our parents or school bullies, Tobias. This is…"I trail off, unable to finish the sentence.Different. Dangerous.The kind of conversation that could change everything.
"I know. I get it. It's not straightforward for me either."His voice gentles, but his eyes pin me in place and strip me to thebone. "But I can't keep doing whatever this is without knowing where you stand and what you want from it."
I nod, trying to remember how breathing actually works.
Inhale. Exhale.
"You know me, Mills. You know I call shit for what it is, and I need you to do the same."
"When did this change for you?"The question tumbles out before I can stop it.