"The night I picked you up from the bar."
"We fought that night."
"We did."That smile—fuck, that smile should be illegal. "But, baby, I like angry sex, so the next time you wanna fight me, I'll pin you down and fuck you so good that neither of us ever has to say they're sorry."
I'm dead. I'm deceased. Gone.
My soul has left my body.
There's no coming back from that.
"Noted," I mutter, barely holding it together. That's all I've got. My brain has left the building. "Seriously though, it goes back that far?"
"Yeah, what about you?"
Oh fuck. No. My pulse kicks into overdrive as panic rips through my chest. That truth is locked away for a reason. But the way he's looking at me, as if he's willing to wait forever but knows he won't have to, tells me that I'm just a few seconds away from breaking down and spilling everything.
"I think it was the night I met Jen and Zane for the first time." The lie slips out smoothly, but Tobias stares at me, his eyes burning with that unnerving ability to see through me.
"How long before that?"
I exhale slowly, defeat settling in my bones because you sure as shit can't lie to someone who's spent years learning every tell and every defense mechanism you've ever built.
"Please don't make me answer." My voice cracks, betraying everything I'm trying to hide.
"Why not?"
"Because I'm scared it'll change things between us."
"It won't." He leans in, and I think the gentleness in his eyes might actually break me. "Whatever it is, Mills. I promise it won't change anything."
I swallow hard, the confession lodged in my throat like a stone. "I've found you attractive for a long time, Tobias."
"Well, you're only human," he teases, flashing that crooked grin. But then his smile falters, his brows pull together, and the weight of what I said sinks in. "Oh…"
"I thought you were cute when we met," I admit, my voice steady despite the tightness in my chest. "But as I got older, that attraction never went away. It's never been more than that, and I don't want you to think I've been pining away or some shit. It was just physical." I force a nervous laugh. "Our friendship, or whatever we call it, has always been real. There was never an agenda to get close."
"We've always been close."
"But not because I wanted more or ever thought something would happen between us," I reply quickly, needing him to believe it.
"Damn, Firefly, you've been crushing on me for nearly a decade?" he exclaims, his laughter breaking through the tension.
I groan, burying my face with my hands. "I really do hate you."
"Whatever, you love me," he tosses those three words around so easily, but they hit differently now, making my heart stumble.
His hands pull mine away from my face, holding them firmly in his. "You've always been beautiful, Mills. I've always thought so. The sexual chemistry wasn't there, maybe because it was never allowed to be. But our bond? It's the same, isn't it? We'vealways been connected. But now, the way you look at me—it's unlike how you've ever looked at me before."
"How do I look at you now?"
"Like you want me to slam you against the nearest wall or door and fuck you into next week." My body responds before my brain can catch up, lips parting on a breath I can't quite catch.
"Yeah, there it is," he says, his voice dropping to something dark and hungry. "That's the look."
"We're never getting through this conversation if you keep saying things like that."
"You asked, Firefly."