Page 113 of After All This Time

"Is this smart, Tobias? Do you understand how badly this could break us if it all goes to shit?" I don't bother masking the crack in my voice now.

"Yeah." One word, and it's as solid as concrete.

"And you don't care?"

"I do." He drags a hand down his face like he's trying to hold himself together. "But I want you more." His admission is raw, and the vulnerability in his voice floors me. "If you want out, say it now, Mills. I'll hate it, but I'll respect it because losing you isn't an option. You promised."

"I just need to know one thing," I whisper.

"Go on."

"What happens if one of us starts to feel more?"

He blinks, confusion flickering across his face. "What do you meanstarts?"

"I mean…" I take a breath, forcing the words out before I lose my nerve. "If one of us looks at this like it goes beyond a physical thing."Like I already do, my heart screams, but I keep that truth locked behind my teeth where it can't destroy us.

"I can't just do sex with you, Amelia. It was always going to be more."

My heart stops dead before kicking back to life. "Okay… so how does this end?"

His brows knit together, frustration creeping into his features as he rakes his fingers through his hair. "Why are you thinking like that?"

"Because it's you."

"Wow." He leans back, the one word heavy with disbelief.

"And it's us," I add, knowing it won't help but needing to say it anyway.

"Right? Still failing to see your point." Anger edges into his voice, and I hate it, but I don't know how to say this without it coming out wrong.

"I've never known you to have a girlfriend, Tobias. Not really. Not one who’s lasted, anyway."

"For a fucking reason," he snaps. "If it didn't work, they weren't right for me."

"And I'm right for you?" I laugh, a hollow sound that barely disguises the fear digging into my chest.

He exhales, his frustration melting into something softer. "I don't know how to answer that because you've always been my person. And now you're the person I can't stop thinking about or needing to touch whenever I'm near you. I don't know exactly what that means, but I'm not thinking about this aswhat happens when it ends. I'm thinking about what I want right now."

"Which is me?"

"Which is you."

"If I get onto the tour, you know I'll be leaving."

"Yeah, I got that."

"Six months, Tobias."

"We've done it before, Mills. Survived it then."

His fingers tap against his thigh—that nervous tell that makes me want to reach out and still them with my own hand. It makesme want to crawl into his lap and press my palm over his heart to calm the storm I know is brewing beneath his controlled surface. It makes me want to forget every reason we shouldn't do this.

"It's different now."

"It doesn't have to be."

"So let's say I get on the tour," I push, needing him to hear me out. "We hook up or do… whatever this is until I leave, and then what? High-five for the orgasms and pretend it never happened? Come back and act normal while we're living together?"

---