Page 33 of After All This Time

"Go get some sleep," I manage, my tone rougher than I'd like.

Before I find out if you're ready to step over a line that's so heavily cemented between us that crossing it would crush everything we know.

"You'll feel better in the morning, and if you still want to yell at me, feel free, but just don't go to bed hating me, okay?" She simply nods, but my mind betrays me like the bastard it is, focusing on her mouth and torturing me with thoughts of her tongue sliding against mine.

Would she kiss me slowly, drawing out every stolen second, just to show me how wrong it would be? Or would she claim my mouth like it's already hers, fucking the truth right out of me until we're both choking on all the things we shouldn't want? Not that she wants any of this—it's all me, standing here with my twisted thoughts, already halfway to ruined just thinking about it.

I quickly rein myself in, gritting my teeth, disgusted that I'm even entertaining the idea because now I just fucking hate myself.

"I'll see you in the morning, Tobias."

"We're okay, yeah?"

"Of course we are," she says, and something tight in my chest finally releases its grip.

Even if she's furious, she'd still steady me if I asked her to, still tell me what I need to hear.

No one else in my life gets me the way Amelia does. Tessa might see most of me, but not all—not the parts I keep buried. Mills, though? She sees straight through to the bones of me. All the ugly parts and the broken pieces I try to hide—somehow, they all belong to her.

With her, it's never been anything less than everything.

Chapter 13

Amelia

The morning sun breaks through my curtains, painting gold stripes across my dark purple walls. It softens them, making them look lighter—and I hate it. Usually, I'd be tugging the blanket over my head to block out the light, but the knot in my stomach about whatever the hell happened between Tobias and me last night immediately reminds me that a little sunlight is the least of my problems.

Or, more accurately, what didn't happen. Because, technically, nothing did… yet something definitely did, and that's the real mindfuck here.

I'm lying here, tangled in sheets that feel too warm, trying to convince myself that the heat in his eyes when he looked at me was just my imagination—trying to forget how my body hummed with awareness when he stepped closer, and how something primitive and hungry woke up inside me when his hand reached for my face before he caught himself.

For the first time ever, it felt like he saw me the way I see him. Just a flash of it, barely more than a heartbeat, but it was enough that I could see the confusion in his eyes.

"No, because any guy would be dumb not to want you."

The words still echo in my mind, taunting me.

Tobias has always been complimentary. He’s flirtatious with other women, but with me, it’s always been different. It’s how you’d compliment someone you care for— someone you’d protect. Like a sister, maybe. Or, in our case, a stepsister.

It's no secret that I'm attracted to him, but it's the kind of attraction you can step back from, acknowledge that he looks damn good, and then move on. There's no depth, no emotional mess—just my body being a thirsty bitch, and trying to deny the way he affects me seems futile at this point.

But that's where I draw the line.

I have no interest in acting on it or acknowledging it…ever.

I know I've got Allison, but other than her and Tobias, it's really just my mom, and even that relationship is a fucking mess because of her need to treat me like I'm twelve.

When her name lights up my phone screen, it feels like the universe is mocking me. I let out a groan that comes from deep inside because if I don’t answer, she’ll just keep calling until I give in.

"Hey, Mom," I say, my voice flat and unenthusiastic, perfectly matching my mood. Talking to her right now is the last thing I want to do.

"You could sound happier to speak to me." Eight words in, and I'm already drowning in her disappointment.

Meh, it is what it is. I stopped trying to be the perfect daughter a long time ago.

"Sorry. Just tired."

"Are you not sleeping well?"