“Robyn, you know there can’t be a next time. Not right now at least. I’m not going anywhere, though.”
“But youdohave feelings for me?”
It’s one thing for Dell to force me to admit my feelings while using lust and shame to control me. It’s another thing to freely admit them in the light of day, of my own volition. It’s so much harder. My plan for us is not shaping up the way I intended, but I never factored in Dell either. But she knows now, and she wants me to be honest.
So I won’t lie to her. For the first time ever, and with the amp in my heart turned to eleven, I admit it. “I do have feelings for you.”
The sharp inhale and twinkle in her eye are like a reward for my honesty. What’s even better is when she places her hand over mine. The urge to skip like a child with her hand in mine erupts from the small gesture.
“Birdie!” a low voice sings, and in a flash we retract our hands. Rafael walks through the door, bright afternoon sunshine pours into the windowless bar before the door closes behind him. Robyn and I are both in clean athletic wear, mine now a little damp from anxiety sweat; Rafael in comparison, strides in looking like the picture of a businessman about to relax as he unfastens the top two button of his dress shirt. “I didn’t know you were gonna be here,”he says, leaning in and giving her a tight hug. “Good to see you.”
“You too,” she smiles, her demeanor shifting from our heart-to-heart. I let out a deep breath at the quick change in conversation. I’ve never been more thankful to see Rafael. “Your soon-to-be brother-in-law ordered pitchers of Guinness.”
“Pitchers?” he asks, sitting down next to her and taking a glass. “Uncultured swine.”
“Alright,” I grumble.
“How's Ang?” she asks Raf.
“Great,” he says with a toothy grin. “She took a long maternity leave and she’ll be going back to work in September. I think she’s really looking forward to it.”
“Is she home with the twins right now?”
“No, on Tuesday afternoons my moms watch the kids and she and Cora stir up mischief.”
Robyn giggles. “Good for them.”
“Are they still trying to buy that sixty-acre plot of land?” I ask him.
“Yes,” he groans. “They keep talking about getting pigs. Cora drew up the plans.” He shrugs and takes a drink.
“Are you talking about Angie?” Dane asks by way of greeting and then leans in to give Robyn a hug, too. “Hey, Birdie. Good to see you.”
“You too! Didn’t feel like changing out of your scrubs?”
“It’s been a long day,” Dane sighs, looking down at his black scrubs covered in animal hair. “Ignore me.”
“Easy enough,” I say.
“What brings you to our happy hour, Birdie?” Dane smiles. “And who the fuck ordered Guinness in a pitcher?”
Robyn and Rafael both point a finger at me.
“Figures,” he mutters, but pours himself a beer anyway.
Robyn grins and then turns her head toward me. “I need to have a chat here with your brother about his coachingstyle.” Oh thank God. I mean, I didn't think she would open our dirty laundry for my brothers to see, but I was sweating.
“What about it?” Rafael asks. Suddenly I don’t love having an audience for this.
“Who are you trying to be?” she asks simply.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’ve never seen this side of you before.”
“Well, I’ve never been your coach before.”
Shetsks. “See, I don’t buy that. In college, you used to watch me play and cheer me on. At the socials afterwards, we’d talk about the memorable plays I made and you were so encouraging. Where isthatguy?”