Page 77 of The Lieutenant

“Then don’t. Take her with you. That way, you can keep an eye on her or better yet, determine if she had an ulterior motive.”

I took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds. “I’ll think about it.” Jerking up, I headed for the window, staring at nothing and everything. The vendetta could cost us everything. That wasn’t acceptable, at least not to me.

As the others talked logistics, Dimitrios suddenly appeared by my side. “It’s okay to care about the woman, Havros. I just don’t want you to be surprised if she’s not the woman you believe her to be.”

“It’s tough to see her as a traitor, but I need to stop thinking with my dick.”

“You know what I was fearful of when Willow dropped back into my life. She was no longer the sweet, innocent preteen I’d met and enjoyed spending time with. The truth is I almost lost my mind and my way over her because I couldn’t separate my toxic desire from the reality of what we were facing. Until I pulled back, shutting down everything for a short timeframe, I couldn’t make decent decisions. Her face, her lips, and her body always got in the way. I don’t want to see that happen to you.”

“What if it already has? What if the connection after only two damn days is so strong I feel compelled to protect and cherish her?”

My brother took a deep breath. “Then you need to ask yourself if spending time or the rest of your life with this woman is worth the loss of everything else. If so, then do everything to make her your top priority. But I will offer you a piece of advice Pops gave me the day I took over. It was something I almost forgot and didn’t put enough credence in. The greatest leaders are capable of a clean break from business and pleasure. They can thoroughly enjoy both, each part of them just as important as the other, but they learn to separate the two.”

“And the worst leaders?” I asked, tossing him a look. I was disgusted with myself and my lack of control.

“Well, he didn’t have any advice for those who failed because he was always certain his sons would each make fantastic leaders. This is my thought.” Dimitrios leaned against the glass. “The worst male leaders think with their dicks while the best female leaders use their feminine wiles to get everything they want. Something else for you to think about.”

“What if it’s determined she’s a black widow in disguise? Admitting this is very difficult for me, but I don’t think I have it in me to eliminate her as would be necessary.”

He was thoughtful about his answer, nodding several times. “That’s what you have family for. We’ll take care of it.”

He clapped me on the shoulder, giving me a nod of respect before walking away.

A choice would need to be made and it was one I wasn’t prepared to face. Two fucking days and the woman had challenged both my integrity and my reality.

How the hell was I going to go forward from here?

CHAPTER 23

“Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfirmed, and it breaks all chains from every mind.”

—William Blake

Kara

Love and hate were two sides of the same coin. That was what my mother had always told me. No, I wasn’t in love with the man, but I did feel more affection for him than I had the two boyfriends in my previous years. How was that even possible in two days? Two days! I laughed bitterly as I noticed Willow hovering in the distance. She should know how I was feeling. Her brief explanation of who she was and how important she was to the family provided an indication she’d been in the same boat when dealing with Dimitrios.

“Bastard.” I knew saying that in front of Willow would get back to the entire family, but at this point I didn’t care.

“All men can be from time to time. It’s how you handle them that’s important. Drink this,” she suggested as she walked to where I was standing at the picture window staring out at the city.

I laughed, although what she’d said was very true. “Handle. An excellent word. Or game playing. There’s another saying. We push. We pull. We hunger. We hate. I don’t know which is the truth.”

“All of the above. You just need to know where the line ends and which side you’ll ultimately jump and remain on.” Willow grinned.

“Very wise, but right now, I feel very confused. We were almost gunned down. Over what? It’s crazy.”

“It’s reality, but not typical of a normal day that everyone else either enjoys or endures. You have no idea what was going on and I doubt Havros does either. Give your emotions a rest.”

I stared out at the beautiful sky, uncertain I could do that. I didn’t trust myself any longer because of our whirlwind passion. When you mixed that with danger, the combination was explosive.

Literally. “I can’t think straight.”

“And you won’t for a couple days. That’s normal.”

I rolled my eyes and gave her a look. “Define normal for me.”

“It’s what you make happen, a decision only you can make for yourself.”

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