Page 126 of Kingdom of Ash

He might have lost her. Not from Maeve or the gods or the Lock, but from his own damned choices. The lie he’d spun.

Aelin drifted beneath the surface again. So deep that when the flare happened, it was little more than a flutter.

The light burst from her, rippling across the lake, illumining the stones, the slick ceiling above. A silent eruption.

His breathing turned ragged. But she swam toward the surface again, light streaming off her body like tendrils of clouds. It had nearly vanished when she emerged.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to say.

Again, that angle of the head. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He did, though. He’d added to her terror, her desperation. He’d—

“If you had not planted that lie for Maeve, if she had not told me, I don’t think we’d be here right now,” she said.

He tried to rein in the twisting in his gut, the urge to reach for her, to beg for her forgiveness. Tried and tried.

She only asked, “What of the others?”

She didn’t know—couldn’t know how and why and where they’d all parted ways. So Rowan told her, as succinctly and calmly as he could.

When he finished, Aelin was quiet for long minutes.

She stared out into the blackness, the rippling of her treading water the only sound. Her body had nearly lost that freshly forged glow.

Then she pivoted back toward him. “Maeve said you and the others were in the North. That you’d been spotted by her spies there. Did you plant that deception for her, too?”

He shook his head. “Lysandra has been thorough, it seems.”

Aelin’s throat bobbed. “I believed her.”

It sounded like a confession, somehow.

So Rowan found himself saying, “I told you once that even if death separated us, I would rip apart every world until I found you.” He gave her a slash of a smile. “Did you really believe this would stop me?”

She pursed her mouth, and at last, those agonizing emotions began to surface in her eyes. “You were supposed to save Terrasen.”

“Considering that the sun shines, I’d say Erawan hasn’t won yet. So we’ll save it together.”

He didn’t let himself think of the final cost of destroying Erawan. And Aelin seemed in no hurry to discuss it, either, as she said, “You should have gone to Terrasen. It needs you.”

“I need you more.” He didn’t balk from the stark honesty roughening his voice. “And Terrasen will need you, too. Not Lysandra masquerading as you, butyou.”

A shallow nod. “Maeve raised her army. I doubt it was only to guard me while she was away.”

He’d put the thought aside, to consider later. “It might just be to shore up her defenses, should Erawan win across the sea.”

“Do you truly think that’s what she plans to do with it?”

“No,” he admitted. “I don’t.”

And if Maeve meant to bring that army to Terrasen, to either unite with Erawan or simply be another force battering their kingdom, to strike when they were weakest, they had to hurry. Had to get back. Immediately. His mate’s eyes shone with the same understanding and dread.

Aelin’s throat bobbed as she whispered, “I’m so tired, Rowan.”

His heart strained again. “I know, Fireheart.”

He opened his mouth to say more, to coax her onto land so he might at least hold her if words couldn’t ease her burden, but that’s when he saw it.

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