Page 7 of Christmas Eve at Bluff Creek

“I act like a jerk because if I don’t, I’m not sure I can keep my hands off you.”

His disgust for himself confused her.

“And that’s a bad thing?”

If he was answering her questions, then she was asking all her burning ones.

“It’s bad when I don’t want to screw up the place where I finally feel at home. I don’t do relationships, sweet cheeks, and you have relationship written all over you. You want the house, the husband, the kids, the dog, the picket fence. Isn’t that what every woman is searching for? I’m not sure we’re on the same path. If we’d met somewhere else, I would have given us both a hot time, but that’s not how we met. I have to consider my brothers.”

Sure, she did eventually want kids because she loved them. If she wanted a dog, a huge Maine Coon cat, fainting goat, pig, ferret or whatever, she didn’t need a man to get one. She had a house and hadn’t designed it with a picket fence. Heck, if she wanted a fence for her kids, she would darn well do something sturdier and taller than a picket fence. It was a tad egotistical that he thought he knew her wants and dreams when they’d never discussed anything. Did she want a man? Yes. Was she actively desperately seeking one because she didn’t feel complete? No. Did she eventually want what her parents had? Yes, with her whole heart, but their relationship had been more than her mother needing a man. It had been about finding the other piece of their hearts.

“So, let me let you in on a little secret. I don’t need a man to achieve my dreams. Sure, they are nice to have around on occasion, but my whole be-all and end-all includes a lot more than a warm body. I want someone who appreciates me for the woman I am and what I’ve achieved. Heck, if it’s only an orgasm I need, my battery-operated boyfriend will do just fine. Would Ilove to find someone to have the love my parents had? Yes. Do I think you fit the bill? No. You’d be great for a one-and-done, but your attitude for the long haul isn’t what I’m looking for. How about you go back to the clubhouse, and I’ll find my own way home. I was feeling wonderful about this Christmas Eve until you decided to crap all over my happy vibe.”

Cannon had the strangest look on his face. On anyone else, she’d label it as bemusement, but Cannon wouldn’t be confused with anything. He’d be too busy trying to refute everything she said to fit her into the little box he thought she fit in. She’d spent her whole adult life breaking the barriers others had set for her as a female mechanic. Some hot, ex-policeman who ran the gun range wasn’t going to put her back inside where he thought she belonged.

“I’m sorry.”

She waited as he started to speak after his apology, then stopped. So he said he was sorry. He probably just wanted to smooth their relationship over so she wouldn’t complain to her dad. What he obviously didn’t get is she fought her own battles. She wouldn’t do anything to come between the brothers of the MC unless she deemed it was a risk for an innocent. Cannon hurting her feelings didn’t warrant that.

“I may have misjudged you. I didn’t have any good female role models growing up besides my grandmother every once in a while. It’s not an excuse but more an explanation of where I’m coming from. Watching how Regina interacts with everyone has helped me see women in a different light, but tonight isn’t the first time I’ve misjudged a woman. I’m deeply sorry and hope you can forgive me. If you can’t, I’ll understand. I’d like to give you a ride back to your house if you’d allow it.”

Jesse wondered if he actually meant the words or was trying to smooth over their relationship so it didn’t hurt the MC. Evenshe could see despite rubbing on her last nerve, Cannon was loyal and would do anything for the men he called his brothers.

“Okay, but you can take me to the clubhouse. I’m actually staying the night there. I promised Regina I’d be up at four to help put the turkey in and prep a couple other items. We’re not doing a separate Christmas get together. We’re all opening presents at the clubhouse.”

He nodded and motioned around the room. “Anything else we need to do?”

“No, Winnie and Rascal are assigned to putting away the suits and Sarah will take the tote of cuts. She’ll sew the Santa sacks with the year on them sometime after the New Year before she stores them.”

She followed Cannon out to his bike, admiring the fit of his jeans. His butt and thighs were covered in denim, and for the thousandth time she wished they could be more, but it wasn’t to be.

Chapter Five

Beth looked out her bedroom window and thought back over her evening. She and Scoop’s deliveries had been a little different than the others. Their route was called the first responder route. Each year, deliveries were made to the EMS, fire, police, and sheriff’s departments. Their route had taken them through Bluff Creek and Coldwater. Some departments had a mixture of volunteer and paid employees.

Their deliveries were two-fold. First, to thank those who served and to give them resources for the coming year for anyone the departments helped.

Scoop had been surprised when she told him what they were delivering. Each bag had gifts for each first responder. Their presents contained a gift card to the closest grocery story, a gift card for Regina’s Roadside Refuge giving them four free meals a month for a year, and also free oil changes for a year for their personal vehicles.

Beth hoped they enjoyed all the cookies she’d made them. Sugar and chocolate always helped around the holidays.

Scoop had been fun to get to know a little better. He’d shaken hands with each of the first responders, thanking them for serving and mentioning to let him know if there were any needs in the community that the Bluff Creek Brotherhood MC could help with.

She could totally see him and Sarah being perfect for each other. Heck, whenever they both chatted about their computers, she wanted to nod off except for watching both their faces get so animated.

Baron and Regina had the hospital as their last stop. They would drop off items for the staff but also for all those in the hospital. Beth loved that route too, thanking people, but herheart always hurt with how sad it would be to be in the hospital over Christmas.

Beth loved visiting the houses, but she also enjoyed showing all those who protect and serve the community how much their service means.

She and Scoop couldn’t chat. His helmet had Bluetooth, but she was wearing her back up helmet that didn’t have it. The evening had provided entirely too much time to think about what she wanted.

She adored her job and her family, but she wanted to try some other things. She was great at surveillance and had even done a little undercover work for one of their security jobs. But she needed something different.

A long-term undercover job or change of scenery would be great. They’d grown large enough that she oversaw a team for surveillance. Maybe she could take a break and offer her services to the Texas Chapter of the MC.

She wanted what Remington had. Someone who saw her for who she was and adored her. Not that their road hadn’t been rocky, but they’d made it to the other side.

Her parents had set the bar very high. Beth had seen the love her parents had and what her dad had lost when her mother died, but she also knew even if her dad had known the ending, he would have still fallen in love with her mom. They’d been meant for each other.

---