Page 14 of Love Galaxy

She’s holding a twelve-inch tablet, with its screen facing Sorin and me. It’s displaying a screenshot of the kitchen. Sorin’s standing in front of the table, with his back to the camera. I’m in front of him, on my hands and knees. I’ve got my head tilted back because I’m looking up at Sorin, and my mouth is open in a very suggestive pose.

I know the screenshot must have been taken right after I’d crawled out from under the table and right before I’d stood up. I must have been speaking for my mouth to be open like that. But to everybody else who sees this picture without context their first thought will probably be that I’m about to suck Sorin’s dick. Made even worse by the bird’s nest that’s my hair.

I shove my hands into the back pockets of my jeans in a desperate bid to hide my shaking—from Chloe, from the cameras undoubtedly filming us right now and even from myself, as I try to convince everyone (me included) that I’m not scared of the bitch manipulating me.

She’s not even bothering to be subtle about it.

I try to think back to what Sorin and I had been talking about right after the others had left the kitchen. Had I said anything about trying to wake the other women and returning to Earth with them? Had I voiced my plan to escape right in front of the cameras? I don’t think so…

“Vaa skom?” Sorin steps up beside me, breaking my internal contemplation and bringing my attention back to the conversation.

“Don’t you start—” Chloe begins.

“Hey!” I demand, cutting through her reply. “How come you know what he’s saying? Is it your tablet that’s translating?” Imake a grab for it, but she steps back, clutching the tablet to her chest, the screen now facing away from me. I’m left glaring at her perfectly manicured nails—French tips with little white plastic bows glued at the cuticles.

That bitch knocked me out cold all without breaking a single nail!

“Why are you doing this?” I suddenly want to know what Chloe gets for helping with our abduction.

She laughs, clearly pleased I asked. “Oh, this show is a part of something bigger than you can understand.”

Really? She wants to play the you’ll-never-understand-mecard? “Is that what Mr. Smith told you? God, you’re so gullible. This show is going to tank. Nobody in Australia is going to believe for a second that Sorin’s a real alien.” My stomach sinks, even as I’m speaking. Of course LOVE GALAXY won’t air in Australia, Idiot Briar! It’s going to air across outer fucking space. God only knows how many planets that is, but it probably equates to a fuck-ton of fame and fortune and finance. For Chloe.

She rolls her eyes, as if I’ve just proven her point of not being able to understand.

To be fair to me, I only discovered aliens exist half an hour ago. I haven’t had much time to process this life-altering revelation. Still, the urge to slap her is real. So real I actually take my hands out of my pockets. Sorin wraps one of hisfourarms around my waist, as if he’s preparing to hold me back.

He’s sweet. And right now he’s my only ally. What I really need is for Harlee and Lydia to wake up.

“When do we start filming?” I ask. Maybe I don’t have to try and wake them myself. Maybe, I can wait until Chloe’s done all the hard work of waking them and explaining to them about aliens and space and shit. Then, I’ll sneak Lydia and Harlee away from the cameras and Chloe and Mr. Smith, and the three ofus together can decide our next course of action. “What will it involve? A rose ceremony or—” I’ve already run out of my reality TV dating trivia. “How about we pretend thatthis—” I make a circle motion with my hand, indicating the three of us and our current stand-off—“never happened. As they say, the show must go on.”

Chapter Eight

COMMENTATOR CHLOE:

As the Human specialist on LOVE GALAXY, I feel it’s my duty to inform our listeners that Briar here isn’t typical of our species. Usually, by thirty years, a Human Female is mated and breeding. That Briar has focused exclusively on her failed career for the last decade means that LOVE GALAXY is her last hope of finding a family.

CITY SINGLE BRIAR:

I can hear you, you know?

Briar

Iglare at Chloe, who’s holding what I can only presume is the alien version of a microphone and talking into the camera trained on her face.

“Cut!” Turning to face me, Mr. Smith glares. He’s not the Human I’d first thought him to be when we’d initially met on Earth. Back then, there’d been something a little fishy about the way he looked, with all that loose skin sagging around his neck,but I hadn’t given it too much thought. Now, he’s dropped his Human-shaped disguise and is rocking full alien, complete with some sort of bony armor encircling his throat and a pitchforked tail that flicks whenever he’s irritated.

What he hasn’t dropped is his Earth-style name.Mr. John Smithdoesn’t suit him, and I don’t doubt it’s a pseudonym, but why the secrecy?

If working in politics has taught me anything, it’s that when you don’t have clear sight of the corporate ladder, there’s always another higher-up boss hiding in the shadows. Mr. Smith is only the show’s director. The real question is: who is he reporting to?

“What are you doing?” he demands of me, his tail flicking back and forth so much it’s beginning to look like a rattlesnake.

Is he ever not irritated? I doubt it.

Resolutely refusing to show how weirded out I am by his alien-ness, I press my hands to my hips. “I’m trying to walk down these stairs without being insulted.”

I can hardly be blamed for every retake we’ve had to shoot this afternoon. Maybe you’re thinking that walking down the stairs into the kitchen would be a relatively simple scene to film. Well, it’s not, and I don’t even have any lines to memorize. Still, I must have walked down these stairs a dozen times, yet I’ve never reached the halfway point before Poopy McPoopface has calledcut.

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