Page 1 of Cocky Cruiser

Chapter One

As I stared out the window of the plane at the water below, I wondered what it would feel like to jump into the seemingly endless blue depths. Would it hurt? Would adrenaline from the fall lessen the pain? Or would the impact be so damaging that it would cause instant death?

Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t suicidal or anything, but I was tired of feeling so … numb. I wanted to feel alive again, like I did before the bastard who ruined my life took everything away from me.

The rush of free-falling toward the ocean would ignite a temporary fire inside me, but deep down, I knew that would ultimately burn out. I wasn’t sure what I needed to fill the void inside me, and that was why I’d broken things off with Harry six months ago. He was a great guy and treated me better than any of my previous exes, but there was no spark between us, no excitement. I’d always felt something was missing between us, and I hated that I couldn’t be happy with him. He was one of the good ones, and good men were few and far between.

I agreed to go on this trip with my brother, Chance, and his family to find myself and attempt to fix what was broken within me. When he and his wife, Aubrey, had told me that they wanted to take their son to see our homeland of Australia, a little voice inside me screamed to go with them.

Even though I wasn’t born in Australia, I’d spent most of my life there and considered it to be my home. Both Chance and I were born in the United States, but when I was three, our family moved to Melbourne after my dad had been recruited to play professional soccer. We lived there until my father died, twenty-one years later, then my mother and I decided to move back to the States.

And that was when everything went to shit.

My brother’s voice brought me back from my trip down memory lane. “You okay?”

I turned my attention from the window to him and forced a small smile. “Yeah, I’m good.”

He grinned. “Good.”

Chance’s son giggled as Aubrey blew raspberries on his belly. He had just turned a year old and was the most adorable thing ever.

“Are you excited to see Australia, Aubrey?” I asked.

Her eyes lit up. “Oh my God, yes. I can’t wait to see where Chance grew up. I’ve always wanted to visit Australia, even before I met your brother.”

We were staying for two weeks, and I had mixed feelings about returning to my former home. When my dad passed away, the pain was too much for my mother or me to bear, so we moved back to the States. Too many things about Australia reminded me of my father, and his death still sat heavy in my heart.

And now, with my mom gone, I felt more lost than ever. I was hoping the trip would have the answers I’d been searching for. Sometimes, I feared that I would never break free of the endless loop of numbness that overshadowed my life.

When we finally landed and got our luggage, we picked up our rental car and headed to the bungalow Chance had rented. The property was right outside the Yarra Valley Wine District, a forty-five-minute drive from the Melbourne airport.

Once we arrived, it was apparent my brother had spared no expense in our accommodations. The breathtaking land we were on had to be at least ten acres in the Australian countryside. “Wow, Chance, this place is beautiful,” Aubrey commented in awe as she stepped out of the car. “Pixy is going to love all this free space to roam.”

I laughed. My brother and sister-in-law had a goat named Pixy that they’d almost ran over when they’d first met. “I still can’t believe you brought your goat on our family vacation.”

“Hey, Pixy is family, too,” Aubrey replied with a hurt frown.

“Let me rephrase that: I can’t believe the airline let you bring a goat on the plane.”

Chance shrugged, smirking. “It pays to be a former professional soccer player with a nice arse.”

I rolled my eyes as Aubrey laughed. “It does have its perks,” she commented as she squeezed my brother’s ass.

Grunting in disgust, I shielded my eyes from their PDA. “Ew, please don’t do that kind of shit in front of me. It’s gross.”

They both chuckled, then Aubrey apologized, “Sorry, sis.”

Once we got settled inside, we ordered a pizza for dinner, then went to bed early. The jet lag from a flight from the States to Melbourne was no joke, and we were all feeling it, especially my nephew. Baby Chance was cranky beyond belief and barely made it through dinner before Aubrey had to put him down to sleep.

After saying good night to my brother and Aubrey, I went to my room and got ready for bed. Usually, insomnia plagued me, and I had trouble sleeping, but I was so exhausted from the travel and time change that I had no issue falling asleep.

The next morning, we woke up a little before noon. We’d planned to grab some brunch then show Aubrey some of our favorite spots in Melbourne.

As we were walking around downtown, nostalgia washed over me. A small smile tipped my lips as I thought about my old friends.

Whipping out my phone, I scrolled through my contacts until I got to my closest friend, Jeannie.

As I started to text her, I bit my bottom lip, hesitating. I’d kept my distance from my friends in Australia, embarrassed by the poor decisions I’d made in the States after I’d left.

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