Page 107 of Never Will I Ever

“Except it is that simple, Avery. You’ve spent this entire summer here, with me, taking back the parts of yourself that were mangled and ruined by shame. I’ve watched you struggle to push past all that damage, and now you’re about to willingly walk right back into the lion’s den and hand yourself over for slaughter.”

He clenches his teeth, and I can see the anger slowly coming to a boil inside him while he grinds out, “Is that how little you think of me? That I’ll roll over and submit all over again?”

“Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing right now?” I counter, standing my ground. “If you’re this easy for him to control, what’s stopping you from slipping right back into the same suit of armor you’ve been wearing your entire life?”

“Because I don’t fuckingwantto!” he seethes, rising from the bed and crossing the room to me. “I don’t want to go backward anymore, and I sure as hell don’t want to hide. That’s why I know I won’t go backward.”

“Then why did you flinch earlier?”

The question extinguishes all the fire in his eyes instantly. Gone is his anger, replaced with something I’d recognize as easily as my own reflection.

Shame.

“Kaleb…”

“I barely touched you, and you fucking flinched. So tell meagain how you’re not gonna go right back to the person you were before, when it took all of five seconds in your father’s presence to have you recoiling from me.”

An animalistic noise leaves me—some mix of a growl and a whimper—the memory of him pulling away slicing through me like a blade.

From the way he winces, I’m not the only one pained by it.

“It was an accident,” he whispers, almost pleading.

“It wasinstinct,” I correct, snarling out the word. “It was fight or flight, and you fucking fled.”

His father is the only one who can pull that impulse from him. Ironic, since he’s the one Avery needs to fight the most.

“He took me by surprise. I didn’t have a clue he was gonna be there waiting for me! Give me some fucking credit.”

“If you want credit, then earn it.”

“I’m trying!Thisis me trying,” he snaps, motioning between the two of us.

“Not from where I’m standing.” My gaze drags over him, and I shake my head. “You’re still doing what Daddy tells you. You’re still taking the easy way out.”

“That’s not what this—”

“Of course that’s what this is! God, Avery. How can’t you see what’s right in front of you? He’s handed you poison instead of water every fucking moment of your life, and you keep drinking it!”

I’m shouting now, but I don’t care. Let the entire camp hear us screaming at each other. Maybe if he has an audience to witness this, reality will sink into that thick skull of his.

His lips pull into a distorted grimace. “I didn’t know any better. Not until I got here and you showed me another way.”

“Yes, you did. Deep fucking inside you, you knew.” My lips pull back in a sneer as I stare at him. “At a certain point, you’re no longer a product of your environment. The responsibilityeventually falls to you. To correct the way youchooseto operate, rather than fall back into the comfort of what you’ve been taught.”

Any and all arguments he has die on the spot, either too afraid of or too stunned by the guillotine of words hanging over us. I know it was harsh, but it needed to be said. Responsibility doesn’t fall on him for his trauma, but healing it, reworking his way of thinking, and changing the things he can control, all do.

The worst part is, this whole time, I thought he was doing exactly that.

Clearly, I thought wrong.

“When?”

The single word comes out like it’d just been pulverised with a hammer. Avery’s response doesn’t fare much better.

“Tonight.”

My eyes sink closed.Of course.

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