Page 109 of Never Will I Ever

“Go,” I whisper.

“What?”

“I said go, okay? That’s what I want you to do.” The lie is bitter on my tongue, but I swallow it down anyway. “Go and don’t fucking look back.”

“Kaleb—”

“Go!” I snarl, the word cracking and shattering as it leaves my lips.

I’m barely hanging on now, and if he doesn’t get out of here, there’s no telling what might happen. Will I drop to the floor and beg? Scream at him some more? Say something I shouldn’t…or maybe something I should?

Tears well in his eyes, threatening to spill over, but he quickly blinks them away before crossing the room. With every step he takes toward the door, a piece of what we’ve built here dies, only to become dust beneath his feet.

My stomach rolls when the sound of the door hinge creaking greets my ears, but just when I think I’m in the clear, he stops and clutches the door frame.

Baby, please. Go. Don’t make this harder.

He doesn’t turn around, though, just stands there, shoulders slumped in defeat before whispering out into the darkness.

“I’m a different person than I was when I got here. You’re a big reason for that.”

My jaw clenches as I try to rein in my emotions threatening to spill to the floor, joining the remains of my mutilated heart.

“From where I’m standing, you’re exactly the same.”

My vision blurs as I slam the door closed, flick the lock in place, and press my back to the wood for support, only for my knees to give out and I drop to the floor. The throbbing ache in my chest has its own pulse, like a blade stabbing the stupid organ that resides there with every beat it takes. Reaching up, I rub the spot, as if it’ll be enough to ease the pain.

As if it can erase the facts.

The bubble burst, and just as I feared, devastation is left in its wake.

But it doesn’t feel real. Not until the next morning when Elijah comes up to me at the breakfast table and asks, “Where’s Avery?”

I don’t have it in me to meet his gaze when I answer with a single, heart-wrenching word.

“Gone.”

Twenty-Nine

Avery

Two Weeks Later — August

It’s been fourteen goddamn days, and every attempt to reach Kaleb since leaving Alpine Ridge has gone unanswered. I can’t blame him for it, what with the way I up and left, no fucks given about the responsibilities I was sloughing off. Logic isn’t enough to stop me from being disappointed, though.

Okay, maybe heartbroken is more accurate.

And not just about Kaleb either. I miss the camp itself.

I miss the days spent under the sun, the campfires when evening took hold. I miss catching Kaleb’s eyes on me when I least expected them, the places he’d take me to be alone. I even miss the kids—Elijah most of all.

So I’ve spent the past couple weeks craving a place I never thought I’d belong to begin with.

The fucking irony.

Needless to say, if there is such a thing as hell on Earth, I’ve been living in it since the moment my car crossed the border into Washington and entered the Vancouver city limits.

To make matters worse, whenever my damn phone makes a noise, I’m instantly checking the screen like a lovesick fool, hoping and praying to find Kaleb’s name on the screen. It never is, of course; it’s almost always my father, seeing as he’s the only person I have after abandoning or alienating every other person in my life.

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