Page 120 of Never Will I Ever

I can’t do that again. I fucking won’t—

“I came out to my dad.”

The admission has me grinding to a halt, my back going ram-rod straight before I slowly turn in place. His throat bobs when he swallows, and those blue eyes gleam as he watches me, waiting for my next move.

“You came out to your dad,” I echo, blinking a couple times as the statement really registers in my brain.

“A couple months ago.”

If he wanted my attention, he has it now. That was the one, sure-fire way to get it.

In spite of myself, I take a couple steps back toward him, my approach slow and measured while I force out a question I’m not sure I want the answer to.

“How did that go?”

He lets out a little huff before a sardonic smile appears. “At first, about how I expected. Told me he’d get me into therapy to sort out my confusion, asked if somethingunseemlyhappened at camp.”

A sinking feeling tugs at my stomach, because this is what I feared. Or something worse, like him kicking Avery out, disowning him, God knows what else. I wouldn’t put anything past the asshole at this point.

My teeth scrape over my lower lip, a hollow feeling taking hold.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It had to happen.” A wry sort of scoff slips out, and he shakes his head. “Believe it or not, he actually…apologized.”

Now that, I wasn’t expecting. My face must show it too, because a soft laugh leaves Avery.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much the look I had when it happened. But he did, and… I don’t know. It feels like he means it. I think it took me breaking down and screaming at him for him to really understand just how deeply his words sank into me, you know?”

The hollowness in my chest starts to dissipate, however slightly, at the hope tinting his tone. Despite the evidence his father’s given previously, I find myself having hope too. Maybe he really has seen the light, even if it’s only a pinprick right now. There’s a chance it’ll grow.

For Avery’s sake, I hope it does.

“Good. You deserve it,” I tell him earnestly. “Hearing you out is the least he can do after all the pain he’s caused.”

His gaze holds mine for a few heartbeats, so many unspoken things swirling in his eyes, before his attention drops to the ground.

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t just him. I’m just as responsible for my own suffering.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and kicks the rubber beneath his feet. “Guess you can add that to the ever-growing list of things you’ve been right about.”

Emotion catches in my throat, but I clear it away. “I didn’t want to be right about it.”

“Doesn’t mean you weren’t.”

Stifling silence surrounds us, his admission hanging in the air like a dark cloud.

I should go, I know that. But now that I’m right here, so close to him, I can’t move.

So instead, I speak.

“So, uh.” I swallow hard, “I assume you being here means they really did let you back in?”

I know it’s why he left camp early—his father wouldn’t have yanked him if there was even the slightest chance he was unsuccessful in his mission—but I haven’t seen him on campus since the fall term started. And believe me, I’ve been looking.

In spite of myself. At every turn.

“Yeah, they did.” A wry smile pulls at his lips and he drops his gaze to the ground. “But I didn’t accept their offer.”

“What?”

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