Page 22 of Never Will I Ever

There’s another quiver of his lips, and I can tell he’s fighting back another comment. Or more laughter. Hell, probably both, if I had to bet on it, and it has me flashing back to the days at the beginning of college, where we’d often toss banter back and forth. But that’s all in the past now, and I doubt that’ll change anytime soon.

Thankfully, he doesn’t make a peep while he continueswrapping gauze around my foot, which might be the only good thing to happen today—apart from my conversations with Elijah this evening.

His willingness to talk with me about what’s bothering him is the first time I’ve actually felt useful since arriving here. Honestly, it was probably the first time in a while I’ve felt understood by someone else.

And it was talking to a freaking preteen.

But that’s because I get it; I’ve been on the side of not fitting in. Of not feeling comfortable being myself or showing who I really am to the people around me. Of trying to be the person my father wants me to be. And look what it’s done. I’ve become jaded and guarded, cutting off any and every type of relationship at the knees. It’s isolating, living like this, and it’s something I can see in Elijah too.

The last thing I want is to see the kid go down the same road I did. So even if it might not be my place, here I am, inserting myself anyway.

“I need to ask you for a favor,” I hedge, my hand swishing in the water while Kaleb continues to work.

He glances up from his task, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Asking for boots now isn’t gonna help the situation. But yeah, you can use mine next time.”

“Very funny,” I mutter, laying the sarcasm on thick, because that’s not where I was going with this—though I will definitely put a pin in his offer for later. No way in hell I want to deal with the pain and embarrassment of him playing nurse to my stupidity all over again.

Kaleb is sure getting amusement out of it, though. Which grates on my damn nerves as always, but I’m still thankful for him helping me right now. He doesn’t owe me anything, especially when we’ve been butting heads since the moment I arrived.

“What is it you really wanted to ask?”

I tap my fingers against the worn wood of the dock and wet my lips. “Do you think your brothers would bring Elijah into their circle a bit? Is that something you can make happen?”

A weird expression crosses his face at my request, his lips parting slightly, and those forest-green eyes widening a bit. It’s some mixture of bewilderment and…maybe awe? All I know is he’s looking at me like he doesn’t even recognize me. Or like I’ve been body snatched by someone who actually gives a shit about anyone other than myself.

Then again, this very well might be the first time it’s ever happened, so I can’t really blame him.

His attention flicks away from me to the water as his mouth snaps closed. Even when he clears his throat, his voice still comes out a little graveled. “I’ll see what I can do. Or Colin can.”

The last thing that kid wants is his uncle coming to his rescue, trying to make friends for him. It sure as hell wouldn’t do a whole lot to help him feel included or less alone.

And the entire point of me being placed with Eli’s group was so Colindidn’thave to worry about him this summer.

“Don’t involve Colin,” I tell him with a shake of my head. “It’ll only make the situation worse.”

“And what is the situation, exactly?”

Divulging something Elijah has told me in confidence doesn’t feel right, but neither does sitting on this information if there are any ideas Kaleb might have to help him. After all, he’s known the kid far longer than I have.

I blow out a long breath and shake my head. “He hates it here. Thinks of himself as an outsider. Feels like he doesn’t belong.”

Understanding crosses Kaleb’s face, but he doesn’t look all that surprised as he nods.

“I wish I could say I wasn’t expecting that answer, but he’s been that way since his first year here. Very closed off and fearful ofrejection,” he says as he finishes dressing my wounds. “But not with you. You’ve gotten through to him more in the past week than I’ve managed to in three years. Something I’d be annoyed by if I wasn’t grateful he’s at least opening up to someone.”

I sigh and roll my shoulders, like it would be enough to get rid of the anxiety, stress, and worry knotted in them. “It doesn’t feel like enough.”

When I lift my gaze to meet his again, he’s wearing that same expression from earlier. The one reading like he’s never seen me until right now, and it brings back the awful feeling of being paper thin. Transparent as glass.

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” I snap, my discomfort coming out as irritation.

He looks away quickly and shakes his head, but a smile hints at the corner of his lips. “I don’t know. You’re just really good with him. It’s different than I expected.”

Yeah, well, I can’t say I expected it either. But being fucked up by the expectations of a parent has a way of bonding people, no matter how different they might seem at the surface. Doesn’t mean I want Kaleb to see that part of me, though. If he does, it’s terrifying to think he might see even more things he’s not supposed to.

“Gotta mix it up sometimes,” I deadpan, attention fixated on checking my palms for invisible slivers to keep from looking at him. “Being an asshole all the time would just make me predictable. Better to keep everyone on their toes.”

“Yeah, that’s gotta be it,” he murmurs, and when I hear the amusement in his voice, I’m forced to look up after all.

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