Page 54 of Never Will I Ever

Kaleb’s expression shutters slightly, almost as if he’s donning a suit of armor before walking into a duel. “I don’t let my sexuality define me, which is exactly why I make no efforts to hide or confirm it. With anyone.”

The words are the truth, no doubt, but his clipped tone gives off more than that. Almost like a bit he’s been rehearsing for whenever I finally decided to bring it up.

Just another layer of protection.

“Except me.” I eye him with equal parts suspicion and curiosity. “You hid it from me, LaMothe. It was written all over your face at the campfire that night. Don’t try denying it now.”

There’s no sign of backing down in his gaze when he utters, “It wasn’t until you started harassing Keene and Aspen that I realized I had something to hide from you in the first place.” He pauses, his gaze holding mine, almost searching before he speaks again. “You remember that night last year when we were all out at Stagger? The one where you were basically harassing Aspen?”

I’m brought back to that night instantly, remembering the taunts and insults I’d thrown at my teammate’s best friend. The memory has shame—an entirely different kind than I’m used to—churning my stomach, and I nod.

Kaleb waits a beat before divulging a truth I never saw coming.

“I was therewitha guy that night.”

Shaking my head, I try to make sense of what he’s telling me. Because there’s no way in hell I could’ve missed a detail like that.

“We were out with some of the guys on the team,” I reason.

“In the beginning, yeah. But then the guy I’d been seeing for a few weeks showed up, even if the rest of you didn’t make the connection for yourselves. I sure as hell wasn’t gonna do it for you at that point.” He takes another drink from his bottle before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Beforethen, though? Before I saw how fucking mean you could be to someone different than you? I never once tried hiding it from you.”

The statement may as well be a blow from his fist, hitting me in the chest hard enough to cause my heart to stumble behind my ribs.

Shame and guilt aren’t new feelings to me. I’ve long since grown used to being buried by them, suffocating silently beneath their weight. But never like this.

Never for something I had control over.

“You’re right, okay?” I mutter, still a little breathless from his revelation. “I know I was a dick, and you had every reason to keep it from me once you saw that side of me. But, Kaleb…we were friends three years before that ever happened.”

His jaw tightens ever so slightly before his gaze finally falls away from mine.

It’s the first time he’s backed down, and I’m not prepared for it. I certainly don’t relish in it. Not now, after we’ve managed to make some headway in repairing all this fucked-up brokeness between us.

Fuck me.

Kaleb’s attention stays locked on the beer, and he looks like there’s something he wants to say. I can see him willing the thoughts to remain inside, fighting tooth and nail to pull them back from the tip of his tongue before they dare spill free.

In the end, his battle of wills is a losing one.

“Because I was afraid of you looking at me differently.”

For as much as I was craving his answer, part of me wishes I never heard it. Because, the truth is, Iwould havelooked at him differently. There’s a damn good chance I would’ve treated him exactly how I did Aspen and Keene last year.

Maybe even worse.

He was right to keep it from me back then. Hell, he was right tokeep it from me until his brothers all but forced the information out of him, leaving him with no other option.

But admitting this? Itishis choice. His decision to take a risk in shedding a piece of his armor. Even if it’s just one, it’s enough to expose him. Make him as vulnerable to me as I was with him on the dock.

“I’m sorry.”

The words leave my lips before I realize it, and they instantly have Kaleb’s gaze lifting to mine. He studies me, a pensive expression on his face, and for what might be the first time since I arrived at camp, I catch his eyes softening around the edges.

“I don’t…” He lets out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. “Never have I ever heard those words leave your mouth.”

His statement immediately has me holding up a palm. “Oh, no. We’re not playing that game again.”

He chuckles. “Why not? Afraid of some skeletons to come creeping outta your closet this time?”

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