Page 71 of Never Will I Ever

My immediate thought isalways, but that’s because I personally don’t like them. Blame it on the lack of surprise birthday parties as a kid.

“Under normal circumstances, it’s rare.” A returning grin pulls at my lips. “With you, on the other hand, it’s a fifty-fifty shot.”

He knocks me with his shoulder playfully, and the contact has electricity zinging through my entire body.

“I’m offended,” Kaleb states, pressing a hand to his sternum. “Maybe I should tell Colin to forget it, then. That we couldn’t use a two-day weekend after all.”

My ears perk up immediately. As much as I’ve started enjoying myself while hanging around the kids, forty-eight hours without them really does have a nice ring to it.

“Two-day weekend?” I echo. When he nods in confirmation, I let out a little laugh before asking, “How the hell did you manage that?”

He shrugs, feigning indifference, but the little smirk he flashes makes it obvious that he’s pleased with himself. “I guess having some seniority here has its perks.”

It takes all my willpower not to roll my eyes.

“Last time I checked, I haven’t even made it through onesummer, so tell me again how this equates to seniority?”

His tongue presses into his cheek. “Okay, so maybe Colin was planning to give us one anyway.”

Thought so.

“Sounds like this is more Colin’s surprise than yours, LaMothe.”

“Ah, see, but that’s where you’re wrong,” he says, pointing at me. “My surprise is what we’re gonna do over the two days we’re blissfully tweenager-free.”

“And let me guess, I won’t be finding out beforehand what it is.”

“See? You’re finally starting to figure it out.”

This time, I don’t stop the eyeroll. “By any chance, is the place you’re taking me somewhere back in civilization? Or are we taking another excursion up this godforsaken mountain?”

“Civilization? Not a chance in hell, city boy. But I think you’ll like it regardless.” A grin tugs at the corner of his mouth. “So, what do you say? You in?”

I pause dramatically, making a big show of pondering before I mutter, “Let me think about it.”

Deep down, I think we both already know I’m in. It doesn’t really matter where he takes me—the mountain, the city, the fucking moon—as long as he’s there too.

I’m not quite sure what’s happening between us now. Ever since Veil Falls, it’s become nothing but light, flirty exchanges. Lots of laughter. And yeah, giving each other some pretty great orgasms.

It could be considered friends with benefits, I suppose.

But, while I can’t speak for Kaleb, it feels like more than that for me.

Maybe because I have the freedom and safety to explore a part of me that…fuck, I’m still struggling to accept. Even with how much I’ve come to crave his body pressed against mine lately.

Those are the only moments, when I’m grounded by his touch, that I’m able to push the venomous attacks on my mind away. The heat of his skin, the pleasure in every kiss or caress, they act as an antidote to Shame’s poison. But once I’ve retreated to my own bed, shrouded in the darkness of my own mind, there’s nothing blocking out the cruel, vicious screams.

Repulsive. Abhorrent. Disgraceful.

Abomination.

They’re not deafening when he’s near, though.

And definitely not when he’s smiling at me the way he is right now.

Later that afternoon, Kaleb and I break the kids into groups by their bunking arrangements and pairing them with another cabin. Each group of six is then assigned to me, Kaleb, or one of the counselors-in-training we stole for the afternoon, in case they need help. And also to make sure they don’t get lost, though if we’re relying only on compass and map skills, I don’t know how much help I’d be in that particular scenario.

Shit, maybe I need a CIT to come with my group too.

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