Page 76 of Never Will I Ever

“This is the only time of year I allow myself to go a little more rugged, but I still shave once or twice during camp. The kids don’t care what I look like, so I really don’t either, ya know?”

“Makes sense.” He tilts his head to the side, studying me briefly before murmuring, “I think you look good either way, though.”

My lips curve up in a hint of a smile. “Duly noted. Though, from the way you’re still petting my face, I think this is clearly your preference.”

His ministrations stop almost instantly, and he goes to pull his hand away when I catch his wrist. There’s a question in his gaze when I pull his hand back to my face. “I wasn’t saying that so you’d stop. It was just an observation.”

His features take on a sheepish expression as his fingers resume scraping against my jawline. “Sorry.”

“For what?” I whisper, not sure what he has to apologize for.

He’s quiet for a beat before murmuring, “I don’t know. It’s just… I’m still learning how to do this.” His eyes trace my face, pausing briefly on my lips, until they land on mine. “Shame still fights me when I openly want you, out where anyone could see.”

“Good thing there’s no one around for miles.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s there regardless.”

A knot the size of a baseball lodges in my throat. I’ve seen firsthand how hard he’s been working to push past what’s been ingrained in him. There are times I feel it when I touch him, the way his body tenses before relaxing into me, and I hate it.

More than that, I hate his damn father for putting him in this position to begin with.

For creating the intricate web of lies and loathing inside his mind that he’s been struggling to untangle. For feeding his shame’s ruthless whispers until they’re deafening.

Working to swallow down the sudden onslaught of emotion, I utter a strained, “Does it still feel wrong?”

He shakes his head, blue eyes glowing with the reflection of the sunset. And at this moment, I haven’t seen another human look so fucking…beautiful.

“I guess I’m running into problems asking for it.”

My throat catches again, and words fall off my lips before I can doubt the truth in them. “You don’t have to ask.”

Avery finally pulls his hand away when he leans back, his brows furrowing. “So I could lay one on you whenever I want? In front of anyone, and you’d be okay with that?”

“Would you even want to? If shame were taken out of the equation?”

He pauses for a moment, thinking the question over, which is one helluva surprise to me. Even when I thought he was straight, I never pegged him for the PDA type. But then again, I’ve been wrong about pretty much—

“I think so,” he whispers, cutting off my thoughts. “In theory, I like the idea. But in reality…”

My lips twitch with amusement. “Well, in reality, this is still our workplace. And even though it’s just summer camp, I’d still prefer to keep a bit of professionalism.”

“Ever a stickler for the rules, aren’t you, LaMothe?” he mutters with an eye roll.

“They’re there for a reason, you know.”

“Yeah. To be broken.”

“Ah, yes. Your favorite pastime.” When his brows draw down, I quickly tick off my points with my fingers. “The beers, for one. And sneaking into my cabin for another.”

A light scoff leaves him. “Believe me, I had a fucking existential crisis over that decision.”

“About breaking the rules? You?” I tease lightly.

He smirks, but his expression quickly sobers before he shakes his head. Emotions swirl in his eyes, vulnerability peeking through their depths that I’ve never seen from him until now.

“More about how you’d react to me breaking them.” His attention drops, unable to hold my gaze any longer while he continues. “I was terrified I’d mess everything up when we’d just wiped the slate clean. You know, after the kiss and the photo and everything else that happened before.”

The vibe between us shifts at his admission, becoming thicker with emotion. I can feel it sticking to me like the air on a humid summer night, and it sends my mind into a tailspin over all the events of the past few weeks.

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