Page 97 of Never Will I Ever

“Yeah, I’m good. Just got done getting the last of the kids into their beds for the night.”

“Same,” he murmurs with a nod. “Though I didn’t think Jordan and Tyler would ever get in their bunks. I’d always thought the whole sugar-before-bed thing was a lie our parents would tell us so we didn’t eat too many sweets, but I’m starting to think there’s some truth behind it.”

I offer the faintest smirk I can manage, but it feels wrong andforeign on my lips.

Avery must not notice, or the shadows of impending nightfall must hide my expression just enough, because he takes a few steps toward me. His hands land on my waist before sliding to my back, where his fingers link together just above my ass.

“You’re still good with me sneaking over tonight, right? Watch someCriminal Mindsbefore you let me do despicable things to you?”

There’s a seductive glint in his eye when he asks, and the way his lips curl up gives me the urge to kiss that stupid, sinful smirk right off.

But my brother’s words are too fresh, clawing at my mind like a trapped animal in dire need of escape.

“Actually, can I take a rain check?” I swallow hard and force the lies out. “I’m just beat from today. I don’t think my body can handle anything more than crawling in bed and crashing.”

He’s able to mask his disappointment quickly, just not fast enough for me to miss it.

“Yeah, that’s fine. There’s always tomorrow.”

All I can do is give him another tight smile and nod before stepping out of his hold.

We go through the rest of our nightly routine without talking much, and though he doesn’t say anything, I can tell Avery feels my shift in demeanor. It’s only when we’re about to part ways, heading to our own cabins alone for the first time in weeks, that he breaks the silence.

“I’ll see you in the morning, then?” he murmurs, brushing back the stray blond hairs the wind pushed over his forehead. I find myself wishing I could be the one to sweep them back instead.

But I keep my hands to myself and murmur, “Yeah. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

My cabin feels empty and dead inside when I reach it, and far too lonely without Avery. I hadn’t realized just how accustomedI’d grown to having him in this space over the past few weeks, and it doesn’t have anything to do with the sex.

Just him being around, existing in each other’s presence.

Rebuilding a friendship.

And now that I’m here, alone with my thoughts, I realize this may be what lies in store after camp is over.

All the questions I’d been pushing down—the same ones my brother forced back to the surface—come barrelling back into my mind like a racehorse. No matter the way I twist and dissect the options, I can’t seem to land on a solid plan of action. Nothing stands out as the obvious choice, and that same dejected feeling from my conversation with Cole starts to take hold.

Fuck.

The look on his face while we spoke said more than his words ever could. Rife with disappointment. Fraught with frustration.

I’ve never seen him so forlorn, and it’s exactly what I was worried about. Why I didn’t want anyone to find out Avery and I were sleeping together, let alone becoming friends again. I knew no one would understand. They wouldn’t be able to see past all the shit that’s happened, and they certainly wouldn’t accept my willingness to push it to the side.

They’d only see it as a betrayal.

Of my friendship, of my community, of the respect of my loved ones.

Of my morals.

But isn’t betraying my heart worse?

Ironically, that’s the only question I’m able to answer without a second thought.

Yes. It’s immeasurably worse.

And that’s the only thing I’m holding on to as I slip out of my cabin and walk the moonlit path separating me from the person my heart is calling to.

Twenty-Six

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