Page 78 of Keeping Kaitlyn

While I’m rinsing my cup, my phone buzzes on the counter with a text alert.

Ryan: Yeah. I need to talk to you about something. Meet me at Con’s in an hour?

When I see the text, my already roiling stomach drops into my feet before bouncing back up with a sickening lurch because even though I’d resolved to tell Ryan the truth about Went and me, I wasn’t prepared to do it so soon.

Me: Is everything okay?

Ryan: Everything is fine. There’s just something I need to talk to you about.

Suddenly sure Grace ratted me out, I tap out my answer with shaky hands.

Me: See you in an hour.

THIRTY MINUTES LATER,MOOK AND I ARE WALKING UP Conner and Henley’s driveway, him straining forward on his leash because he can hear Molly playing in the back yard. As soon as we get through the gate leading to the back yard, I unclip his leash and he surges forward on a happy bark when he sees his best friend and Henry playing tag in the grass while Ryan and Conner supervise from a pair of gliders on the back porch. When he sees me coming, Conner flashes me his dimples in anI know your secretkind of smile before he says something to Ryan and stands to head into the house.

“Hey,” Ryan says, giving me one of his flat, Ryan smiles. “Before you ask—yes, I took my meds and yes, I logged thirty minutes in the tank before I left this morning.”

“Okay…” Offering him a pained smile of my own, I slowly lower myself into the seat Conner just vacated. “You said there’s something you wanted to talk to me about?’ I prompt him because I suddenly just want to get it over with. I don’t want to lie anymore.

“We’re moving,” Ryan tells me without preamble. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it but lately when I see you, you’ve been… occupied.”

“Oh…” I nod slowly, aiming my gaze over the porch railing, at the backyard where Mook, Molly, and Henry are taking turns chasing each other. “Where to?”

“Mary and Patty must’ve started an epidemic because the family that owns the house next-door put theirs on the market,” he says on a laugh. “We’ve submitted a petition to adopt Henry and Allison so we need more room and if we’re going to go through the trouble of moving, it may as well be to a place with abackyard. We put in the offer last week—we got word Friday that they accepted.”

For a few seconds I don’t know what to say because I know why he’s telling me. I understand what it means, even if he doesn’t.

Ryan doesn’t need me anymore.

“It’s a two-story,” I say carefully because even though Ryan is better about accepting his limitations, he still doesn’t like to be reminded of them. Instead of getting angry or snapping at me, he laughs.

“Because he’s an asshole, Con suggested one of those chair lifts for the stairs but I talked to Declan and we’re going to convert the downstairs den into a primary suite.” Waiting a beat, he seems to be letting the news sink in for the both of us before he continues. “I also talked to him about building an apartment over the garage.” He gives me a smirk. “That way you won’t have to keep your wine in my fridge anymore and that blockhead dog of yours will have a yard to tear up.”

It takes a few moments for me to understand what he’s saying. That I’m included in thewepart ofwe’re moving, and for a second I’m so grateful, I feel like crying.

But only for a second.

“Ryan…” Shaking my head, I chew on my bottom lip, trying to figure out how to say what comes next. Looking at him, I give him a sad smile. “You don’t need me anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” The smirk on his face slowly fades away while what I just said sinks in. “Of course I still need you. You’re my?—”

“I can’t even remember the last time you let me help you out of bed,” I remind him, struggling to keep my tone steady and even. “You’ve refused shower help from day one and…” Shaking my head again, I sigh. “You’ve got Grace. The two of you are going to get married and you’re a dad now—a really,reallygooddad—” I think about my brother. All the things he never got to do. Never got to be. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly because if I think of Luke now, I’ll fall apart completely. “It’s okay, Ryan. This is agoodthing.”

He stares at me, jaw clamped so tight I can practically hear his teeth grinding together. He wants to argue with me. Tell me I’m wrong but he can’t because he knows I’m not.

“What will you do?” he asks quietly because none of this went the way he thought it would.

“I’ll still be a nurse. I can work at the center,” I tell him, even though I’m not sure if that’s what I want anymore. Because this feels like a sign. Like maybe this isn’t where I’m supposed to be. Like maybe it’s time to let go and move on.

Putting my uncertain future aside for now, I focus on what I came here to tell him. “I have to tell you something,” I say quietly, even though I’m pretty sure everyone else here knows but him. “About Went. What he told you last week.”

“That he’s married,” Ryan says with a disgusted scoff. “What about it.”

“He’s not.” Swallowing hard, I shake my head. “He’s not married. The woman in the drawings isn’t his wife. She’s his ex-wife.”

“Kaitlyn…” Ryan looks at me like I might be the dumbest person he’s ever met. “Is that what he told you? That?—”

“No.” I shake my head again. “Went didn’t have to tell me anything because I already knew.”

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