Page 80 of Keeping Kaitlyn

“If I don’t like what you have to say, this wrench—” She shows it to me, lifting it to shove it in my face. “is going straight up your ass.”

“Deal.” Holding up my hand again, I gesture her into the living room so I can follow behind her because Tess has always had an impulsive, hairpin temper and the last thing I need to deal with right now is a concussion. Following her, I wait for her to sit in the chair I’d sat in earlier before taking a seat on the couch.

“So?” She wags her wrench at me before she tosses it on the table. “Explain to me how you’renotmarried.”

“It’s simple,” I tell her with a shrug. “I met a woman when I was twenty-three. We got married and she left me less than two months later.”

She looks at me like nothing I just told her sounds even remotely simple. “Then why the fuck would you tell Ryan that you’re still married if you’re not?”

“Because I’m still in love with her,” I tell her plainly. “Because I’ve always been in love with her. Because signing those divorce papers was the last thing I wanted to do.” I don’t feel bad saying it out loud. Not to her because if anyone understands, it’s Tess. We both knew she was still in love with Declan when we were together and I knew that eventually they’d find their way back to each other, even if she didn’t.

When I say it, Tess’s expression softens and her entire body relaxes. “How long were you married?”

“Not long.” Looking away from her, I shake my head. “A few weeks. I went away on business and when I got back, she was gone.” It’s a condensed version of what happened and not entirely accurate but I don’t have the time and emotionalbandwidth for much more. “All that was left of her was the ring I put on her finger and the divorce papers she left for me to sign.”

Still looking at me, this time like I’m a freshly kicked puppy, Tess sighs because she knows what it’s like to be left. “Did she at least give you a reason why?”

“The papers she left saidirreconcilable differences” I tell her and am rewarded with a disgusted snort.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” she asks before sliding further into her seat and lifting her legs to tuck them under her. Now that she doesn’t feel duty bound by girl code to kill me for my treachery, she can afford to relax.

“It means she changed her mind about being married to me,” I tell her with a shrug. “That she didn’t love me the way I loved her.” It’s been six years. Saying it out loud hurts more than it should.

Tess gives me another one of those snorts, this one more disbelieving that disgusted. “That can’t be the reason why.”

Hearing her say it tightens the back of my neck because any other reason would fall on me. It would mean Kait left because of something I did and even though it’s possible—hell, even probable—I have a hard time considering it because I wanted it to work. I tried to do everything right and I failed. “I don’t cheat. I don’t hit?—”

Tess jerks back in her seat like she got a whiff of something bad. “That’s not what I meant. I know you’dnever…” Shaking her head, Tess sighs. “When Declan left me, it was because he’d gotten mixed up with Henley’s biological father, Troy Murphy. Dec’d done some things that he had to pay for and Troy made it clear that if he didn’t, he’d come after me.” Picking at a hole in the leg of her jeans, she gives me another disgusted snort. “It didn’t help thatmyfather was there and pretty much convinced him that he was a lowlife piece of shit who didn’t deserve to bewith me.” Looking up at me, she shakes her head. “So he left me.”

“What are you saying?” Something prickles across my scalp. “That someonemadeher leave?”

“I’m saying look at you, Went—” she holds up a hand on ahow stupid are you?kind of laugh. “We’ve already established that you’re objectively hot. On top of that, you happen to be a pretty great guy. If I hadn’t already been in love with Declan when we met, there’s no way in hell I would’ve let you go.” She shakes her head, dropping her hand on a huff. “So, no—I don’t think this chick—whoever she is—left because she didn’t love you.” She says it like the possibility is too outlandish to even consider. “I think maybe something happened that made her think that leaving you was her only choice.”

FORTY-FOUR

KAITLYN

After tellingRyan the same story I told grace last night, I wait quietly for it to sink in. Ryan isn’t stupid but the TBI he suffered in the military makes processing information a slower process than he’d like and the frustration of it shows on his face.

“So, you and Went met in Montana, six years ago.” It’s not a question. It’s a re-statement of what I told him but I nod and answer him anyway.

“Yes. His older brother works as a ranch hand for my father. Went rented his hunting cabin for a few weeks. It was my job to keep it clean while he was there.” I don’t tell him that everything was my job when I lived with my father or that it was a punishment for all the things he lost and blamed me for.

Ryan gives me a look that reminds me of the last time I saw my brother, standing in the kitchen while I tried to minimize the hell that Brock had put me through while we were together. A look that says he knows there’s more than what I’m telling him. “So, you were his maid.”

“It wasn’t like that.” I shake my head. “He didn’t even want me there at first. He…” Sitting back with a sigh, I look out acrossthe yard. “He was good to me. Looking back, probably better than I deserved.”

“Andwhydid you leave him, again?”

The question yanks my attention away from the children playing in the yard and I look at him to find him giving me one of those flat smiles that tells me he understands more than I thought.

“Because he didn’t love me,” I say with a sigh that hopefully closes the subject, at least for now.

“How do you know?” he asks, head cocked slightly to the side. “Did he tell you that?”

“Well…” Taken aback, I shift away from him in my seat. “No, but?—”

“And he was good to you?” Ryan says, pressing me for answers. “Never made you do things you didn’t want to do. Never hurt you or used you.”

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